Nominate Your Terrible Local Lawmakers for Legislative Sh*tmuffin of the Year!
It's that time of year again, Wonketeers! We're gathering nominations for our coveted Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year award. Competition for 2014 honors in both national and state divisions has been fierce and we want to be sure we don't overlook any worthy nominees, particularly among those who ply their trade in the state capitol buildings across our great nation.
Don't get us wrong, it's been a busy year for the legislative shitmuffins in Washington, but it's important not to mistake that for having passed laws. They spent a lot of time on bills that had little impact outside of their own chambers, making up for it by cramming handfuls of individual dick moves into the budget that they tossed on the president's desk on the way to the airport for Christmas break.
State-level shitmuffins, by contrast, can be extremely dangerous due to their ability to pass enactable bills in relative obscurity, with almost nobody around to notice the sludgey conduits funneling campaign donationsfrom corporate interests and crappy copy-paste "model legislation" into statehouses across the country.
This year, we've seen these farm-team shitmuffins use their offices to command ladies who want services at their state's one remaining abortionplex to get permission slips from their menfriends. They've denied evolution in order to stand in the way of a little girl who just wants her backwards state to pick an official fossil. In addition to shitmuffinry committed in the line of duty, there's been no shortage of icky misbehavior on the night side.
In case the outside world has not learned of achievements in shitmuffinry from your state's esteemed politicians, please shine the spotlight on them in the comments below or tweet their exploits using the hashtag #legshitmuffin. We're on the lookout for only the finest in political poocakes and we won't rest until we can say who is the worst of them all. Nominate your favorites today!
[Pic via Round Stable ]
As a Floridan, I second ViveLaRes' up-thread nomination of this entire state; one cannot swing a dead yeast-spore without hitting two or three shitmuffins upside their tiny, vacuous heads. We plant our Major League shitmuffs in Washington, cultivate our "farm team" shitcakes in Tallahassee, and grow our own organic, locally-produced, Little League shitcookies in various county commissions and city councils throughout the state.
Sadly, our 52% registered Democrat majority excels only in two areas; staying home on election day, and the awkward mixing of sportsball, agricultural, and baking-related metaphors.
Fucking <i>sigh</i>...
For a non-legislative year, Nevada Assemblywoman Michele Fiore was quite busy - she showed solidarity with tax cheat Cliven Bundy, then got into a <a href="http:\/\/talkingpointsmemo.com\/livewire\/chris-hayes-michelle-fiore-nevada-assemblywoman-cliven-bundy-ranch" target="_blank">tussle with Chris Hayes</a> in which she said &quot;Don&#039;t come here with guns and expect the American people not to fire back.&quot;
After she won re-election handily, she was named Majority Leader by soon-to-be-ousted Ira &quot;I&#039;m not a racist, I just write racist things&quot; Hansen, and then tried to <a href="http:\/\/www.ralstonreports.com\/blog\/fiore-crashes-adelsons-office-then-tells-caucus-she-speaks-him-which-he-denies" target="_blank">rig the re-vote to replace Hansen by claiming to speak for prominent donor Sheldon Adelson</a>. Her own position as chair of taxation was lost when the Republican caucus was reminded she owes over a <a href="http:\/\/www.ralstonreports.com\/blog\/fiore-has-had-seven-figures-liens-filed-against-her" target="_blank">million smackers to the IRS</a>. Fiore, with a straight face, claimed she was a victim of a <a href="http:\/\/crooksandliars.com\/2014\/12\/nevadas-female-tax-cheat-claims-theres-war" target="_blank">&quot;War on women&quot;</a>, was given the job back the next morning, then lost both it and her Majority leader position a week later by claiming she was the victim of a conspiracy among <a href="http:\/\/www.fox5vegas.com\/story\/27661688\/fiore-again-ousted-from-gop-assembly-leadership" target="_blank">the Speaker&#039;s campaign manager and one of the Republican Party&#039;s largest donors.</a>