Rich Republicans Would Like To Skip Democracy, Just Pick The 2016 Nominee For You

• American democracy, Republican style:  

  Dozens of the Republican Party’s leading presidential donors and fund-raisers have begun privately discussing how to clear the field for a single establishment candidate to carry the party’s banner in 2016, fearing that a prolonged primary would bolster Hillary Rodham Clinton, the likely Democratic candidate.

  The conversations, described in interviews with a variety of the Republican Party’s most sought-after donors, are centered on the three potential candidates who have the largest existing base of major contributors and overlapping ties to the top tier of those who are uncommitted[.]

  Does it even matter which three Republicans the uber-rich think have the best chance? Nah. (Although, spoiler alert, Donald Trump is not on that list. YOOOGE surprise, right?) Some guys with more bazillions of dollars than you can count on all your hands and toes will decide, in their infinite wisdom, whom the Republican primary voters will be allowed to choose. And while it can be quite difficult to muster any sympathy for Republican voters -- because, you know, duh -- in this instance, a group of "dozens" of rich white dudes already know they can't trust the Limbaugh-listening made-in-China flag-waving yokels comprising the Republican base to make such an important decision.

  “What the donors are looking at is, how do we find someone we are confident can win and not get involved in 2015 with people just throwing money around,” said Ray Washburne, the finance chairman of the Republican National Committee, who has met with most in the likely presidential field. [...]

  The fear of a bloody primary extends even to the ranks of the ultra-wealthy donors whose seven-figure largess to super PACs helped prolong the Republican nomination battle in 2012, forcing Mr. Romney into pitched battles for late-voting states like Michigan.

  Seems like it wasn't that long ago the Democrats had themselves a good and bloody primary, and the winner still managed to get elected to the White House. Twice. But hey, Republicans, you do your thing. And if you want to throw all that money around to make sure primary voters can choose any candidate they want in 2016, as long as it's the one you've pre-selected, well, maybe that's what Republican voters deserve. We might be laughing harder at their expense if we didn't suspect the exact same conversations were taking place in Democratic donor circles too.

• Seems like the White House shouldn't have to say this, but:

  The White House politely but firmly asked reporters not to take selfies in the Oval Office during President Barack Obama's meeting with Prince William today.

  The President's aides decided the request was necessary after an excited group of French reporters took pictures of themselves during a meeting between Mr Obama and François Hollande, the French president.

• America's least-favorite born-again virgin Bristol Palin wants to fuck a lumberjack apparently:

  Meet the “lumbersexual” – he smells like wood. Loves being out in nature. Wears a full beard, leather boots, denim, plaid — and of course, flannel. (“It’s like Ron Swanson mixed with Ryan Gosling,” the article said.)

  Well, this is what a man should look like!

  I’m not the trendiest person, but I would welcome this one with open arms.

• Millions of our fellow Americans wanted to watch a dude get eaten alive by a snake and were thusly disappointed:  

  

• Our friends at Happy Nice Time People bring us up to date onSweet Merciful Zeus, Lady, How Many Kids Does Any One Family Need? And Counting, in which we meet a random cousin who has a "singing" "career":

  Amy Duggar is Jim Bob’s 27-year-old niece and a cousin to the titular 19 kids. Apparently she’s been on the show before, trying to leverage her family name into a music career in Nashville. To my surprise, she’s not Contemporary Christian or even country but “Lite AC.” What the hell is Lite AC, you ask? I had to google it. Turns out adult contemporary radio stations (you know, the ones with Delilah) are divided into “Hot AC,” which might throw in a little Bruno Mars to help you think you’re still slightly hip, and “Lite AC,” which worries Toni Braxton might be a little too “urban” for their audience. [...]

  Amy’s singing career continues to not exist, so she’s back to bumming air time off her more famous cousins. In fact, she gets the whole hour pretty much to herself.

• You need to go look at this tragically long list of unarmed people of color killed by police since 1999. Just do it.