Make These Criminally Good NSFW Gingerbread Cookies

Here is your holiday gingerbread cookie recipe, one I am ever so glad to present. Gingerbread is a cookie that tells you exactly who it is while it bakes because the aroma is very specific and recognizable. “It smells like Christmas in here,” is what people say about your achievement. They mean it in a good way, and it makes you proud.

The gingerbread cookie recipe below is not too sweet, and might be as close to OMG as one can get when making holiday cookies. It is complimented with careful amounts of icing, but has enough self-esteem to be plain with a cup of coffee.

The following ingredients are very close to Martha’s gingerbread cookie recipe. If you want a good cookie, do you want one from a lady who has lived a little and been to prison, or one from anything to do with Coldplay? After  Clocks  , I was done, and Martha’s gingerbread tastes like my mother’s cookies. Case closed because yum .

Mix the following dry ingredients in a medium-sized bowl:

2 c. all purpose flour

1/4 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. baking soda

1/4 tsp. ground cloves

1/2 tsp. ground nutmeg

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

2 tsp. ground ginger

Set this aside, then hand mix the following in a separate medium-sized bowl:

1 stick of butter, room temperature, sliced

1/3 c. dark brown sugar

1/3 c. molasses

Cream the butter and sugar. Add this to a food processor with a pastry blade, then add in the dry ingredients a half-cup at a time. Pulse, and scrape down the sides to incorporate all ingredients. As soon as the mixture forms a consistent dough, pour it onto a sheet of plastic wrap and refrigerate for about one or two hours. When the time is up, divide the dough in half. Roll it out to about 1/8” thick on floured plastic wrap or waxed paper, and freeze for about 20-30 minutes. Use your elbows and lean in.

Preheat the oven to 350º.

Loosen the rolled-out dough from the plastic or paper, and begin cutting shapes. Place the shapes on cookie sheets and bake for about 10 minutes. When the edges look toasty, remove from oven and cool completely. Cookies can be refrigerated in a sealed container until you’re ready to decorate them with icing.

Here are some cookies that I decorated. What a nice collection!

 
 So much ginger goodness, and still soft inside.

Icing can tell a story, and you don’t need many colors. This is a fallen enemy from the #WarOnChristmas.

 
 Decked in the hall by a crosstown bus full of holly. Fa laa laa laa AAUUUGH!

Be creative – share an emotion that is identifiable. For example, here is a couple. She is on her moon and he is blue.

 
 Gingers as the day they were made.

And this? This is for the jerk that hates everything. Ham spread and cat hair, because you have nothing to lose.

 
 More Underwood darling?

So much fun , and mostly for me. Enjoy!