Lindsey Graham Is Mad About All The Things

The House Intelligence Committee’s report on BENGHAAAAAZI!!!1! continues to disappoint all the conservatives who are still absolutely positively 100 percent convinced that the Prophet Sheikh Obama (peace be upon him) should be impeached and perhaps rendered to the prison at Guantanamo Bay for his dereliction of duty in the 2012 tragedy.

As we mentioned, Fox News is still trying to put gold plates on this Buddha-shaped pile of shit handed down on Friday. Saturday it was Joel Pollak at Dead Breitbart’s Funeral Home and Casket Showroom trying to claim that eight investigations are definitely not enough because Candy Crowley lied to help Mitt Romney lose the election.

Sunday it was the turn of Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-Hammy Biscuits) to display the proper indignation, and he was adorable. Here is Lindsey stomping his foot on the solid pine boards of his veranda after Gloria Berger lists some of the House Intelligence Committee findings:

I think the report’s full of crap…that’s a bunch of garbage! That’s a complete bunch of garbage…she (UN Ambassador Susan Rice) gave an impression to the American people that these people were well taken care of when in fact it (the consulate) was a deathtrap.

Someone please bring Lindsey one of those tiny fans and a mint julep to settle his nerves.

Incidentally, here is Lindsey Graham on the same goddamn show discussing another hot topic that has the GOP’s tits aflutter, the dread tyrant Obama’s decision to unilaterally rewrite immigration law in order to get the Democrats a whole bunch of new voters, or something.

Shame on us as Republicans. Shame on us as Republicans for having a body that cannot generate a solution to an issue that is national security, it’s cultural and it’s economic…

I’m close to the people in the House, but I'm disappointed in my party.

Lindsey is criticizing the GOP’s House caucus for failing to take up the immigration reform bill that the Senate passed a year ago with the coveted bipartisan support so beloved by the Ron Fourniers of the world. What else has the House been doing that it didn’t have the time or wherewithal to work on immigration reform? Well, it has been engaged in eight(!) investigations of BENGHAAAAAZI!!!1! that have so far failed to turn up any wrongdoing or major impeachment-worthy scandal.

Hmmm. Maybe if Lindsey Graham had made some effort to push his House colleagues on immigration reform instead of pouring gasoline on the Benghazi scandal fire with irresponsible and overwrought statements like the ones he made to Gloria Borger -- again, on the same goddamn show where he made the statements about immigration -- he could have helped pressure the House caucus to work on immigration reform instead, and he wouldn’t have to be ashamed of his party.

Ah, who are we kidding? It will be a cold day in Beaufort before Lindsey Graham shows an ounce of self-awareness or the shrieking rage monkeys in the House listen to him on an unsexy issue like immigration reform. Sometimes, yr Wonkette just loves to dream.

[ CNN / HuffPo ]