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Some guy who thinks he still matters

  • As Ferguson, Missouri, braces for the grand jury’s decision on whether to charge Officer Darren Wilson with killing teenager Michael Brown, some loser ex-mayor who suffers from severe delusions about his own relevance (a condition apparently also suffered by whoever books guests for “Meet the Press”) asks a question that has never, EVER been asked before: What about black people, HUH?

    Former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani faced immediate Web backlash Sunday morning after he asked why people protest the killing of unarmed Ferguson, Mo., teenager Michael Brown but not black-on-black crime.

    “Ninety-three percent of blacks are killed by other blacks,” Giuliani said, triggering a heated argument on NBC’s “Meet the Press.” “I would like to see the attention paid to that that you are paying to this.” […]

    “What about the poor black child that was killed by another black child?” Giuliani asked. “Why aren’t you protesting that?… Why don’t you cut it down so that so many white police officers don’t have to be in black areas?”

    Does it get uglier? Of course it does! Because when Georgetown professor Michael Eric Dyson tries to set him straight, well:

    “White police officers wouldn’t be there,” Giuliani said, “if you weren’t killing each other.”

    “You.” Yeah, stop killing all those black people, Professor Dyson. YOU cut that out, YOU.

    Oh, and in case you were wondering, why yes, Rudy Giuliani does happen to have his own plan for what he would do if he were in some elected position of authority, which he is not and hasn’t been for a long time and never will be again:

    I would have had a state of emergency, but I would have kept it quiet. In other words I would have kept my police on alert, I’d have kept them in places you couldn’t see them, be ready in a moment’s notice to stop any violence.

    Oh, Rudy would have secretly used his super secret police force powers to keep the peace against those dangerous black folk, huh? Gosh, what a surprise. Here’s hoping he crawls back into his spidey hole again for a nice long time. Pretty sure America isn’t quite ready to miss Mayor Noun-Verb-9/11 just yet.

  • Hell of a life, hell of a lede:

    Marion S. Barry Jr., a sharecropper’s son and civil rights pioneer who became a flamboyant and polarizing mayor of Washington, went to prison on a cocaine charge and then recaptured City Hall in one of the most improbable comebacks in the history of American politics, died early Sunday in Washington. He was 78.

  • It’s not like childcare providers are doing anything that important, right? Why should they get a living wage?

    Childcare providers’ wage growth was lower than the growth in wages paid to fast food workers. They were consistently in the bottom second or third percentile in salary rankings, sharing that status with parking lot attendants, laundry workers, fast food employees, and bartenders. Perhaps most strikingly, the people who care for our youngest children earn less than those who care for animals in zoos or homes. […]

    A third of these workers reported using some form of public assistance, including nearly two-thirds of those who are parents. Even those supports don’t alleviate the anxiety. Nearly three-quarters were worried about being able to pay their bills, while half were worried about being able to afford food for their families.
    Benefits are rare. A third of the providers in the case study state didn’t have any health insurance from any source.

  • For those of you who don’t have time to read the whole Bible, here’s your condensed version:

    GENESIS
    God: All right, you two, don’t do the one thing. Other than that, have fun.
    Adam & Eve: Okay.
    Satan: You should do the thing.
    Adam & Eve: Okay.
    God: What happened!?
    Adam & Eve: We did the thing.
    God: Guys

    THE REST OF THE OLD TESTAMENT
    God: You are my people, and you should not do the things.
    People: We won’t do the things.
    God: Good.
    People: We did the things.
    God: Guys

  • Today in cool science stuff, the rhino horse:

    A portly hoofed animal about the size of a wild pig just might help solve a 55-million-year-old mystery of evolution and continental drift.

    The mammal, which likely weighed 45 to 75 pounds, probably occupied a branch of the evolutionary tree right beside a broad group that has since radiated out into the modern rhinoceros, horse and hippopotamus, according to a study published online Thursday in the journal Nature Communications.

    Cambaytherium thewissi, first described nine years ago, comes as close to being described as a “missing link” as any paleontologist might dare (most eschew the term). It retains features later lost among its sister mammals, the perissodactyls – which includes tapirs, rhinos and horses.

  • Here’s a real treat from our friends at Happy Nice Time People:

    Is there anything as fun as cursing at children? It’s pretty much the only thing that makes writing those 19 Kids & Counting recaps tolerable. And now TV’s Bryan Cranston is joining in on the fun with the audio book of You Have to F**king Eat.

    Samuel L. Jackson’s reading of Go the F**k to Sleep has delighted millions of frustrated parents who would never, ever use such language out loud (but have thought it so hard that sometimes it feels like the inside of your skull is pulsing like a subwoofer). And, yes, the new Cranston-narrated audio book is a sequel by the same author (whose name is Adam Mansbach, not that anyone cares about writers, am I right?).

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