It's the most wonderful time of the year: the War on Christmas. And to celebrate, we have a new coffee mug, which you will buy now. In fact, knowing you, you will buy seven of them. Here is the front side:
Our coffee mugs have two sides, or your coffee would spill onto your bosoms. Here, look at the "back side"!
It says "Wonkette," so all your coworkers will know you are a filthy vulgarian heathen Islamicommie. Congratulations, you are fired.
NB: If you are using the "paypal advanced" option, it may look like your order has fallen into the ether, but IT HASN'T. Hold tight, or if you're really fretting, email us at rebecca at wonkette dot com and we will soothe your worried head.
Update: Nope, Paypal Advanced is super-ganked. Start over, terrible ones, through PayPal only, or, hell, send a check to PO Box 8765, Missoula MT, 59807, with all your relevant details. Be sure to include $8 for shipping!
Now that you have bought that, and clicked around our sweatshop for some tote bags to tote your goddamned elitist organic vegetables in, as well as our terrifying panties what eat men's peens, how else can you help your Wonkette today? A to-do list, for you:
Buying shit on Amazon? Click through from our Amazon thingie, there in the siderail! Then buy buy buy.
Scrolling down to our comments? If you see something that could possibly vaguely be interesting, click on it! Personally, we like the square with all the makeup and dresses in it, because we are A Lady. Click click click.
Have you shared something on Facebook lately? No? What the fuck is wrong with you? DO YOUR PART, JERKOFF, and share share share.
Speaking of which, you could sign up for our newsletter, there, in the siderail, again. Don't worry, Dok hardly ever remembers to send it. It is not EVEN like when you donate to the DSCC.
Really, just send money. Dok and Kaili seem inordinately fond of living "inside." Donate donate donate. Shy and I won't even use any of your money for our Thanksgiving wedding, because we're kind of lame at grifting : ( Better grifting next time, us!
Thank you for reading Wonkette. We love you.
Well, half.
Why do you want to see my sideboob, anyhow?