Not Ready For Hillary? Too Bad, Facebook Already Made Her President

• In case you didn't get the memo, it is already 2016. It issooooooalready 2016. In fact, Facebook is already projecting the winner of the next presidential election, so everyone else who's just getting started on teasing about hinting about exploring the idea of thinking about announcing a run for the White House can just pack up and go home because it's already over. According to ABC News, this BREAKING! EXCLUSIVE!!! information shows that -- hang on to your hats, folks, this is big -- Hillary Clinton has more likes and interactions on Facebook than any of those Republican also-rans, so we can pretty much call it a day and start practicing saying Madam President. 

  

  
   Guess it's pretty convenient we didn't even have to bother voting, huh?

• Apparently, marijuana IS the gateway drug to a life of crime:

  According to the California Department of Fish and Wildlife’s Marijuana Enforcement Team (MET), in the last two years, illegal marijuana grows have stolen 1.2 billion gallons of water. That’s the equivalent of 2,000 Olympic-sized swimming pools.

  “We are absolutely seeing more aggressive water-stealing by marijuana cultivators,” said Lieutenant John Nores, head of the Fish and Wildlife’s MET. “Water is getting much more limited with the drought.”

  Just this year, wardens from Fish and Wildlife’s MET have uncovered 136 dams, reservoirs and elaborate piping systems set up by pot growers to steal water. One of those was the system near the rancher’s property, uncovered deep in Henry Coe State Park near Morgan Hill, about 35 miles southeast of San Jose. Raid video provided to the Investigative Unit by Fish and Wildlife shows wardens armed and with a K-9 unit approaching the illegal grow of 8,000 plants.

• Politics ... sex ... Snoopy... This story from our pals at Happy Nice Time People has everything!

  Okay, let’s say you’re ABC… and you’ve gotIt’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Browncoming on at 8/7… andScandalcoming up at 9/8. What’s the perfect transition between the two?

  Got it!You’re Not Elected, Charlie Brown!

  It’s the perfect transition from Peanuts and politics. You’ll keep those seven-year-old glued to ABC all night, you programming genius, you.

  Unfortunately, some people had a problem with Snoopy flowing so seamlessly into Shandaland. In fact, since there was no commercial break between the shows, it was only seven seconds between when the final scene of Charlie Brown faded out and the opening scene ofScandalcame into view.

•  Via Digby, who assures us that yes, this is a real thing:  

  

• While this must be a hoax because the universe is only however-many-Bible-years-old and evolution is just a myth, this story of an ancient mummified bison is still pretty cool:  

  Hidden away under frozen ground for nearly 10,000 years, an extremely well-preserved bison mummy is finally ready to give up its secrets.

  In 2011, members of the Yukagir tribe in northern Siberia discovered the remains of a steppe bison (Bison priscus), an extinct ancestor of the modern bison that still roam the plains of North America and northern Europe. The almost perfectly preserved bison was transported to the Yakutian Academy of Sciences in Siberia, where researchers made plans to perform an autopsy on the animal.

  While other steppe bison mummies have been discovered over the years, none have been as well-preserved as the so-called Yukagir bison mummy, which was found with its internal organs almost completely intact, according to Olga Potapova, the collections curator and manager at the Mammoth Site of Hot Springs in South Dakota, who helped study the ancient mammal.

• Millennials may not have jobs or money, but they do have good taste in beer, so at least we know they have priorities:

  American millennials aren't drinking what their parents were. Young drinkers are quickly abandoning the major domestic standbys for import and craft beer. [...]

  Meanwhile, craft beer sales have been steadily rising. Shipments sold of craft beer rose 13 percent in 2010, 14.5 percent in 2011, 14 percent in 2012 and another 14 percent in 2013. Overall, craft had a 7.8 percent share of the domestic market in 2013.

  These trends seem to have been driven by the buying habits of young Americans.

  "The 21- to 27-[year-old] beer drinker is, and always has been, the critical demographic, and they're shifting towards craft," said Ben Steinman, president of Beer Marketer's Insights. "I think that there's a move towards innovation, flavor, variety, and all of those spell craft," Steinman said.

• Further evidence that the official Twitter account for the Republican National Committeemustbe satire: