SHARE

Dear GOP please impeach me kthxbai

Look, Republicans do not want to have to impeach President Obama. They have said it time and time again.

Sen. John McCain said he really did not want to have to impeach Obama for warring on Syria. And in 2013, when the GOP House caucus had a secret meeting to talk about impeaching the president, they didn’t even want to use the “I word.” When Texas Rep. Blake Farenthold said the House would totally impeach Obama if it weren’t for that dumb obstructionist Democrat-controlled Senate, he probably didn’t even mean that. (Yes he did.) And when never-gonna-be-president Mike Huckabee said the actual president “has done plenty of things worthy of impeachment,” he was probably just speaking hypothetically.

Seriously, Republicans do not want to impeach the president. Really, they do not. It’s the last thing they want, which is why they never bring it up except for all the time. But only to insist, as Florida Rep. Ted Yoho did, that “if an impeachment comes up, it’s not because Congress wants to do that. It’s because the president has chosen to bring that upon himself by not enforcing the laws on the books.” And House Speaker John Boehner has said how sick and tired he is of the president’s administration always talking about impeachment all the time:

“We have no plans to impeach the president. We have no future plans,” a visibly frustrated Boehner said. “Listen, it’s all a scam started by Democrats at the White House.”

And we are quite sure — quite — that those words he derped in July are just as true today, even though Democrats have now been banned from the Senate and Republicans could finally fulfill their impeachment dreams that they totally do not have, no really, wink wink.

And yet … it seems the president is still determined to force them to do it anyway, damn him. During a post-election panel on Fox “News,” Charles Krauthammer explained Obama’s evil scheme to force Republicans to do that one thing they totally do not want to do:

What are we talking about tonight? A little bit on the election itself, and now about what he’s going to do. He’s back in the game. He’s relevant now. And this is exactly why he wants immigration. Republicans have to resist the temptation. This is impeachment-bait. Or all kinds of nonsense. But bait. Do what you can, suspend the financing of this because you have the power of the purse, but create your own agenda, and don’t allow Obama to suck you into a one-issue fall.

It’s just so obvious when you look at it that way, isn’t it? Now that Obama is president again, which he wasn’t for the past year apparently, he will do everything he can to goad the GOP into impeaching him because he is just so starved for attention like that. It’s like he thinks he should be relevant just because he is the president of the Most Important Nation In The Universe! No, seriously:

I think the president’s threatening [executive action on immigration] because he wants to do it, and I think he’s all the more anxious to go ahead and do this because it makes him relevant, it makes him the center of the universe. Again, he is not a happy man that he was asked for a year by his own Democrats to stay away and be invisible. This is a guy who doesn’t enjoy being invisible.

Just goes to show what an egomaniac the president is. Most presidents are content to be invisible. George Dubya was perfectly happy to hide away at his ranch and stay away from the cameras and totally not dress up like pilots and pretend to land jets and throw themselves victory parties. But not that so-full-of-himself Obama. He’s always like, “Oh, look at me, I’m the president.” Who does he think he is, the president? Ugh. He should stay out of the way and stick to the golf course so Republicans can do the real work of criticizing Obama for being on the golf course. And trying to president when that is so clearly not his job.

Fortunately, Republicans are way too S-M-R-T to fall for his tricks. They are not going to let him set any sort of agenda or do any sort of presidenting or taunt them into charging him with high crimes and misdemeanors. Republicans are the serious party of serious governing, after all, and they would never waste time and money impeaching a president. Never.

[Media Matters]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
Previous articleGOP’s Awesome Plan To Make America All Better, Starting With Killing A Million Jobs
Next articleEric Cantor Is America’s Saddest Republican