Why Does Charlie Pierce Insist On Making Joni Ernst Look Stupid By Making Her Talk?

Barack Obama: Is he apathetic or the world’s most insidious dictator? Black or white? Floor wax or dessert topping? Senate candidate and prominent hog de-baller Joni Ernst of Iowa isn’t sure. On the one hand he is cramming Obamacare, the greatest tyranny since Pharoah made the Jews build all those pyramids, down the throats of the helpless American people, an offense which Joni will resist with all her guns if need be.

On the other hand, he’s lazy and refuses to lead and doesn’t care if everyone catches Ebola, or something. Over the weekend, Esquire blogger and Wonkette boyfriend Charlie Pierce journeyed to that vast expanse of cornfields and derp to see Ernst in the flesh, and boy did he have a fun time trying to talk to her about reality. Let’s just cut and paste a shitload of this so you can all get the full crazy flavor. 

“He is just standing back and letting things happen, he is reactive rather than proactive,” she said. “With Ebola, he’s been very hands off.”

“What should he have done about Ebola?” Esquire blogger Charlie Pierce asked her. “One person in America has Ebola.”

“OK, you’re the press, you’re giving me your opinion,” Ernst said.

Huh? Crazyladysayswhat? It’s not an opinion. As Pierce pointed out to her, it’s a fact that as of this moment, there is exactly one known Ebola patient in the country, Dr. Craig Spencer, who developed the disease after spending time in West Africa treating patients there.

“But he is the leader, he is the leader of our nation,” she said. “So what he can do is make sure that all of these agencies are coordinating together, to make sure he is sharing with the American people he cares about them, he cares about their safety.”

“You don’t think he does?” he said.

“I don’t know that he does, he hasn’t demonstrated that,” she said.

“You don’t think he’s demonstrated that he cares about the American people?” he said.

“He hasn’t,” she said.

Later, when someone asked Ernst how Obama could be both a power-crazed dictator and also a lazy bum who doesn’t care enough about the American people to save them from having their internal organs melt into an organ slurry, she came up with some Palin-esque word salad.

That’s where he is a leader. So many of the actions that he proposes taking are actions that should be done by Congress. Not by the president. He is our executive. He is our leader. He is our president. Congress should be making the legislative actions.

So Obama should lead on things Joni Ernst thinks he should lead on, but not lead on things that Joni Ernst does not think he should lead on, and also just sign whatever legislation Congress sends him without giving any input at all. We think. And he should also let the states nullify federal laws and not turn the entire country over to the United Nations to enact its insidious Agenda 21 and move the entire rural population of Iowa into an apartment block in Des Moines.

Iowa, we know everyone is busy and most people don’t pay attention to this stuff until maybe the day before the election, so pardon us if we seem a little gobsmacked here BUT HOW THE HELL IS THIS ELECTION EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE? HOW THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS VERY POSSIBLY ABOUT TO SEND THIS WORLD-CLASS CRAZY PERSON TO THE WORLD’S GREATEST DELIBERATIVE BODY TO MAKE IMPORTANT DECISIONS FOR THE NEXT SIX YEARS? HAVE ALL OF YOU HAD YOUR BRAINS WRECKED FROM CONSTANTLY SNIFFING FERTILIZER?

On the other hand, Joni Ernst could be a fertile source of crazy for yr Wonkette to write about for the next six years. Like Ted Cruz if he had been educated at Free Republic instead of Harvard Law. (Not that that Harvard Law degree seems to have made him smarter than your average Freeper.) If the country is on its way out, we might as well go out laughing.

[ Esquire / WaPo ]