Only Men Are Allowed To Use Daddy's Name To Run For Office, Duh

• Sometimes it's hard to be a woman. Actually, it's hard most of the time -- thanks, MEN -- but it's especially hard if you're a woman running for office:  

  Last week, a statewide official in Georgia accused Democratic Senate candidate Michelle Nunn of cashing in on her father's reserve of political goodwill during her campaign. This is true, but she's definitely not alone. Sen. Mark Pryor (D-Ark.), Sen. Mark Begich (D-Alaska) and Kentucky Senate candidate Alison Lundergan Grimes (D) also happen to have famous political dads and have run ads featuring their parents. They have mentioned their parents at events. In fact, no one voting this year could ever forget the connection.

  The difference between them and Nunn is that she stands accused of using a fake name on the trail, something Pryor and Begich never had to deal with. Being men, they had no choice but to run on their father's name. Nunn, on the other hand, decided not to take her husband's last name, Martin, and is getting some heat for it.

  We are going to perform a little public service for you right here and now, folks, so listen up while we explain this to you with some small easy-to-comprehend words. Sometimes when women get married, they change their names. Sometimes they don't. Sometimes they change their names, and they use one name professionally and the other personally. Sometimes they change their name to something they pulled out of a dictionary, or they go by a first name only, like Cher.

  And you know what? It is all okay, and it is all none of your damned business how and why women choose to use whatever name they want. The people who think womenshouldchange their name when they get married can shut the hell up, and the people who think women shouldnotchange their name when they get married can shut the hell up too.

  And excuse us for being uppity, but the last time we checked, no one complained about Presidents John Quincy Adams and George Dubya Bush -- not to mention all the other sons of famous fathers -- using their family names to make it in the biz, whatever the biz happens to be. But now we have to worry that a bunch of married ladies (like, four) will sneak attack and overrun the government with their not-married names, which is unfair and unjust and who created this kind of political not-merit-based legacy system in the first place? Oh that's right. Men.

• How does New York's oldest, quintessential deli stay in business? Glad you asked:  

  If you want to fully appreciate why a place like Katz’s is special, you have to appreciate its odd economics, which pretty much ensure there will never be another deli quite like it.

  Oh, did you actually want an answer to that question? You'll have to read the whole thing. We're not going to doallthe work for you here.

•  Facebook is trying to teach kids not to be dicks:

  It’s no surprise to anyone who’s ever had one that kids are mean. Really mean. Unspeakably mean. They’re enormously invested in social status, and the way to attain it, as far as they can see (they’re short), is to tear others down. For many eons, young people were only able to do this to those in their immediate vicinity, but now the miracle of technology allows them to stomp all over the feelings of young people around the world and drive them to suicide. (You can read about some particularly egregious examples here , if that’s how you like to spend your spare time.) This is why bullying, and cyberbullying in particular, have become such hot topics. According to Pew Research, 65 percent of those between the ages of 18 and 29 say they’ve been cyberbullied, and 92 percent have seen it done to somebody else.

  Now Facebook is attempting to address the problem, at least on its pages, by teaching its users to empathize with others.

• Maybe we should stop hunting African lions now before they are extinct:

  Rather, especially in the case of lions, the major threats are increased conflict as lions come in contact with humans, habitat loss and lack of prey, said U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service Director Dan Ashe.

  "The African lion -- a symbol of majesty, courage and strength -- faces serious threats to its long-term survival," he said.

  "Listing it as a threatened species will bring the full protections of U.S. law to lion conservation, allowing us to strengthen enforcement and monitoring of imports and international trade."

  Lion numbers in Africa have been steadily declining, from around 76,000 in 1980 to an estimated 30,000 today, with 70 percent of those living in just 10 strongholds.

• Joan Jett does not, as it happens, give a damn about her reputation, bad or otherwise. But she does give a damn about the 2014 election. And because Joan Jett rocks, you have to do what she says.

• Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito may never get his just deserts*, but he can't get brunch either:

  Justice Samuel Alito and his wife Martha-Ann showed up on Sunday at Heirloom, a popular New Haven, Connecticut, brunch spot. But the couple was reportedly turned away by a hostess, who said the restaurant was full.

  The hostess didn't change her tune even after a bystander told her that the guest she'd just refused to seat was a Supreme Court justice.

*Apologies for the terrible pun. It was terrible, and we apologize. It seemed necessary at the time. We'll try not to let it happen again.