Oops! House Republicans Forgot To Sue Obama For Presidenting

If you are anything like us, you have recently been wondering what happened to the plan by the House’s Rabid Ferret Caucus to sue the bejesus out of President Obama for moving around some deadlines to implement parts of the Affordable Care Act. (And if you are like us and have been wondering that, try to get out more.)

Why haven’t we heard about it lately, and what is Boehner’s diabolical end game? Was he afraid of a backlash right before the midterms? Is he waiting to see if the GOP takes the Senate so he can go right to impeachment, as many of his fellow House members have demanded and for which they have insisted the votes exist, if they can just get the Senate back? Was he blackout drunk when he threatened the lawsuit and forgot all about it the next day when he woke up in a dumpster in Reston with no pants?

Or possibly, as the Washington Monthly tells us, a report from the Congressional Research Service has made him aware that this lawsuit is, in technical legal terms, utter bullshit. 

Although shrouded in twelve pages of fine print and protectively bureaucratic phraseology, the report’s bottom line is clear: not merely are the legal underpinnings of the Republicans’ planned lawsuit weak; the report turns up no legal basis - no “there” there - at all.

We are shocked, SHOCKED to learn that this lawsuit is a baseless pile of hot garbage that was undertaken as a political maneuver and has no legal rationale whatsoever!

The CRS report was commissioned by an anonymous member of the House and was actually completed on Sept. 4. So why are we only hearing about it now? Well, the presumably Republican House member who requested the report never released it, and Democrats either didn’t know about it or are too disorganized or spineless to publicize this entire absurdity further. Feel free to use the comments to guess which way yr Wonkette is leaning on that question!

The CRS is not the only group that has called shenanigans here. Some conservative legal scholars have risked their Federalist Society dinner invites to say that the whole idea stank worse than David Vitter’s diapers on a Saturday night. The lawyer House Republicans initially hired to pursue the suit dropped the GOP as a client after his firm told him he was making them all look like third-rate ambulance chasers with online law degrees and a storefront office in a strip mall in Tulsa.

The GOP has hired another firm, but the question remains: If the Democrats retain control of the Senate, will Boehner move forward with this plan? Or is he an orange-tinted weenie who lacks the stones to stand up to the lawless tyrant Barack Obama in a court of law and keep America from becoming a communist dictatorship? History awaits your decision, Mr. Speaker.

[ Washington Monthly ]