One Guy In New York Has Ebola So You Can Totally Panic Now

• That screaming hysteria you hear is the sound of everyone in New York being EXTREMELY TERRIFIED!!! or at least making jokes about being EXTREMELY TERRIFIED!!! because Ebola is real now. (You know the rule: It's real when it happens in New York. The rest is prologue.)

  A doctor in New York City who recently returned from treating Ebola patients in Guinea tested positive for the Ebola virus Thursday, becoming the city’s first diagnosed case.

  The doctor, Craig Spencer, was rushed to Bellevue Hospital Center on Thursday and placed in isolation while health care workers spread out across the city to trace anyone he might have come into contact with in recent days. A further test will be conducted by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention to confirm the initial test. [...]

  Even as the authorities worked to confirm that Mr. Spencer was infected with Ebola, it emerged that he traveled from Manhattan to Brooklyn on the subway on Wednesday night, when he went to a bowling alley, and then took a taxi home.

  You could read the paragraph about how Ebola actually spreads. You could Google it too. But isn't it so much more fun to just freak the fuck out? Or make "jokes" about blaming Obama?

  

  Funny thing about working for a guy who is whining 37 hours a day that Obama has destroyed America, and everything is all his fault. It's hard to tell when you're "joking." We're pretty sure that Donald Trump isn't joking though. He's just an idiot. 

  

  You're still safe, by the way. The people at risk are the ones like Dr. Spencer, who are going to the countries where the Ebola is to treat the people who are actually suffering from it. Half way around the globe, not here in good ol' safe U.S. of America. And we know the very same Republicans who are fear-mongering about Ebola and trying to blame it all on Obama would not lift a finger to help their own mothers if there wasn't something in it for them, so we know they're not actually at risk either. But you can go ahead and panic anyway if it'll make you feel better.

• Look at these pathetic dead-enders:  

  The writing is on the wall for gay marriage bans in Kansas, Montana and South Carolina after federal appeals courts that oversee those states have made clear that keeping gay and lesbian couples from marrying is unconstitutional.

  But officials in the three states are refusing to allow same-sex couples to obtain marriage licenses without a court order directing them to do so. It could be another month or more before the matter is settled.

  Fine, losers, but some judge is going to cram that equality down your tantrum-throwing throats anyway. It's just a matter of time, and you don't have a lot of it left.

• Apparently not Dick Morris:  

  Police have arrested a man who was wanted in a rather bizarre toe-squeezing incident in Mount Laurel, New Jersey.

• These little girls have some dirty mouths on them:

  The video, posted yesterday by American for-profit company FCKH8.com, features five girls, aged six to 13, dressed as princesses asking: “What’s more offensive? A little girl saying f**k or the sexist way society treats girls and women?”

  In the original video, there is no bleeping or asterisking. These little girls say some serious swears. But YouTube didn't like that, so the video was taken down. And now there is a debate about whether it is appropriate for these little girls to be saying things like "fuck that" to statistics about how many of them will be raped in their life time. What's more offensive -- the statistics or the swears? You can watch the video and decide for yourself.

• New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo is also "not a scientist":  

  Interestingly, Cuomo put a bit of a twist on the refrain. Unlike the Republican lawmakers and candidates who have taken up the line as their standard response to the question of whether manmade carbon emissions cause climate change, the Governor used it to dodge the question of what should be done about fracking. [...]

  “Thirty five states have natural gas, 34 are safely drilling and their economies are booming,” Astorino said, pressing the issue of whether fracking should be allowed in the state. The drilling practice currently isn’t permitted in New York, thanks to a moratorium that’s been in place since 2008.

  “Let’s look at what’s going on in Pennsylvania, Ohio, North Dakota. We can do that here in New York.”

  “I’m not a scientist,” Cuomo said in response. “Let the scientists decide. It’s very complicated, very controversial, academic studies come out all different ways. Let the experts decide.”