Smoove B. Barry Bamz Beclowns Chicago Fool

Thanks to Buzzfeed -- a phrase we type as rarely as possible -- we got us some Suavay Presidente stone cold clowning a fool in Chicago before claiming his woman as his own by presidential right.

We miss "Mike," the fool, telling the Leader of the Free World not to touch his girlfriend, but we DON'T miss the president's response, which is to needle him for about five hours and then plant one right on Mike's girlfriend's kisser. Come at him bro! What you got? You gonna get through the Secret Service? Hmmmm. Don't answer that.

Before exercising his droit du seigneur , el Prezzy did a fine pissed and bitchy comic patter, imitating Mike's girlfriend, Aia, telling her friends how mortified she was about her fool boyfriend stepping to the president. Then he laid it on her.

Mike the Fool, having been properly Trumped, was not heard from again, having melted into a puddle of descrotumed shame.

Now do that to Ted Cruz, please. A grateful nation awaits.

[ Buzzfeed ]