It seems Jeb “The Smart One” Bush — former governor of Florida and close, personal brother of America’s worst president EVER — might not be ready for 2016 just yet.
Jeb has been poking his head out of the family compound over the last year or so to see if America has forgotten all about that time his brother broke the country (no, actually, we have not forgotten), and even his mommy now says she will not send him to his room without dessert if he decides to run for president. His wife, he claims, is “supportive,” not that he cares much because he, like his brother, is The Decider: “This is ultimately my decision with as much consideration as I can to take into account the people that I really love.”
Nice guy, like the rest of his family. But Jeb might want to decide to spend a little time boning up on a few issues that might come up on the campaign trail before he makes that decision. Like, for example, that obscure ongoing battle in Congress over equal pay.
At a recent campaign event for Terri Lynn Land — the Michigan Republican running for Senate whose epic response to accusations that she’s waging a war on women was to say “REALLY?” and then sip her coffee because she didn’t actually have a response — George W. Bush’s brother found himself stumped. Which didn’t stop him from having an opinion, of course. Or being wrong. It runs in the family, you know.
Man: Do you think that Sec. Land should support the Paycheck Fairness Act?
Bush: What is the Paycheck Fairness Act?
Man: The Paycheck Fairness Act is a piece of legislation that would ensure women receive the same pay as men…equal pay for equal work.
Bush: Equal pay for the same work, not for equal work — I think that’s the problem with it. I think there’s a definition issue.
Man: So you don’t think Sec. Land should support it?
Bush: I don’t know. You’d have to ask her.
For anyone who doesn’t pay attention to anything Congress does, which is understandable unless you’re thinking about running for president and then not so much, allow us to educate you. The Paycheck Fairness Act was first passed by the House in January 2009, after George had finally packed his HI-larious dead troops jokes and run away back to Texas to paint nudie self-portraits to send to his sister (ewwwwww). It’s a bill intended to strengthen the Equal Pay Act of 1963 that almost every single Republican in Congress has refused to support because they do not support equal pay. Chicks don’t need all that money, and besides, it wouldn’t be fair to employers if they had to pay ladies the same way they pay men, would it? (Yes, it would, actually; that’s where we get the words “fairness” and “equal.”)
But whatever. George Bush really wasn’t into equal pay when he was president, so they probably didn’t discuss it at the family table, while choking on pretzels. And Jeb has been out of office for a few years, keeping his head down, hoping the country will forget about that time he rigged the voter rolls in Florida so he could steal the 2000 election for his brother. And yes, we sure do look forward to the liberal media hounding Jeb about whether he actually voted for his brother, because that’s what passes for Serious Journalism these days, and a refusal to answer is automatically disqualifying.
We do find it interesting that while Jeb had never heard of the Paycheck Fairness Act, he didn’t hesitate to correct the guy who asked him about it. Certainly, the “problem” with the legislation he’d never heard of is the definition, because “same work” does not mean “equal work,” apparently. Who knows? Jeb isn’t a scientist, and he’s not a linguist either, but at least he’s quite sure there is some good reason not to support “equal pay for the same work” or equal pay for equal work, or whatever the legislation is supposed to do. He doesn’t know, because he’s never heard of it; he just knows it’s bad. Ugh. “Equal.” Such an ugly word, right?
With the 2016 presidential race right around the corner — no, really, check your calendars — all the Republicans who are generally capable of at least swallowing water (plus some who aren’t, and we wish you the best of luck, Sen. Marco Rubio) are lining up to win the silver medal, and with this insight into Jeb and just how seriously he’s taking himself, we are definitely #ReadyForJeb. Even if he’s not.
[h/t Tampa Bay Times]