Hobby Lobby Owner Cool With Making Money From Abortion Drugs Because That's Different

Here is a Shocking! revelation from Steve Green, president of the crafting-for-Jesus Hobby Lobby chain. He still hates birth control, of course, because he sincerely believes it murders babies. Lucky for him the Supreme Court agreed he has a First Amendment right to disregard the law because of how sincerely he believes that. (Yep, still mad about that. Still gosh darned effing pissed, ACTUALLY. Especially because now your "sincerely held religious beliefs" can get you out of pretty much any laws you don't like.)

But Green isn't quite so certain about whether profiting from abortion drugs he opposes violates his sincerely held religious argle bargle blah blah blah. Science is still out on that one, apparently.

When asked by MSNBC about Hobby Lobby’s 401(k) plan, which has more than $73 million invested in those very companies that make those very drugs that hurt his precious feelingssooooobad, he had a real nifty way of explaining how that is totally different. Because it's different, see!

That is several steps removed ... Whether they do or not [invest in these drugs and devices], I couldn’t confirm or deny it. I don’t know if it’s even true. Of course, the other question I would ask is, do those companies also provide a lot of life-saving products that our employees are dependent on? I don’t know that either. But we’ve not made any changes.

He doesn't know if it's true, and heaven knows there's no way he could confirm or deny it. We're not talking about his just-plain-wrong belief that contraception is abortion, which hehasconfirmed by telling himself that's what it is. We're talking about how his company invests its money, and there's nothing in the Bible about that, so oh well. Shrug.

Plus, making money off abortion is so far removed from how he exercises his religious beliefs every day that he really doesn't need to think about it. That's very different from how complying with the Obamacare contraception mandate, by allowing his lady employees to use their health insurance for whatever health care they and their doctors think they need, makes it basically UNPOSSIBLE for him to practice his faith. As we all know, when a lady goes to her doctor and gets a prescription, Obamacare requires her employer to go to the doctor with her and personally kill her ovaries with his bare hands. Greencan'tbe several steps removed from that because Obama won't let him, the bastard.

And anyway, the real question is whether those drugs Green says are awful terrible THE WORST maybe also save lives (as long as Hobby Lobby is profiting from them). That is a good question, Steve, and the answer is yes! Sometimes contraception and even abortiondosave lives. That's the kind of thing you can actually confirm, though not by watching the700 Club, so maybe it doesn't count.

You know what else doesn't count? All the evidence that Plan B, one of the drugs Green KNOWS is bad and wrong, does not actually affect a fertilized egg, which is why Plan B is NOT abortion, dumbass. But he doesn't want to worry his pretty little head about that.

"I don’t know with as much studies that have been out there that that can be known clearly," he said. Actually, Steve, that is how science works. You do studies on stuff, and then you know stuff from those studies. Like how emergency contraception is not abortion. But we guess that's just another one of those mysteries that can never be understood if understanding science violates your beliefs.

But let's get back to what Steve knows for sure. Like how it is right and just that the Supreme Court gave him his extra-special "nah, dude, you don't have to obey the law" waiver because all he wants is "to not be forced to become an abortion provider by freely providing products that take life."

You know, for a successful businessman who isquitesure he understands how health insurance works, he sure doesn't seem to understand how it works. Like how if you compensate your employees who do work for you by paying them in health insurance coverage, that is not actually providing anything for free because of how they have worked for and earned that compensation. Also, too, with the science thing? And how he doesn't understand it? And all those studies that he thinks makes it impossible to know whether contraception is abortion? Amazing how sure he is that Obamacare would have forced him "to become an abortion provider," ISN'T IT?

In conclusion, Steve, if you are not willing to fight all the way to the Supreme Court to make super extra double triple sure that you are not in any way whatsoever involved in any way whatsoever with anything that is in any way whatsoever related to abortion when it comes to making money, we can only conclude that your "sincerely held religious beliefs" are not sincerely held. Or religious. Or beliefs. Andthatwe sincerely believe.

[ MSNBC ]