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Definitely Not Nuts AT ALL

For a guy who’s thinking about running for president, Mike Huckabee sure has some neat ideas about how democracy works. And by “neat” we mean “wrong” and “crazy” and “huh, do WHAT now?!?!”

In a recent radio interview with an Iowa conservative (oh, Iowa, what a coincidence!), Mike explained how we could save America from the The Gays, whose agenda has again been forced upon innocent unsuspecting bigots who thought those sneaky homosexuals would be satisfied with civil unions (which is why Huckabee and his ilk opposed those too, when that compromise was still on the table; should have said yes when they had the chance). All we need, says the former governor of Arkansas, is some hero governors who aren’t afraid to do a little democracy-saving anarchy:

What I’m hoping will happen is that somewhere there will be a governor who will simply say, “No, I’m not going to enforce that” … In fact, we’re going to say to county clerks across our state, “No, you’re not going to issue marriage licenses.

What’s to stop county clerks from saying to any such brave governor, “No, I’m not going to enforce that“? Well, that’s an issue for another day, apparently. But according to Huckabee, if only our government had started rebelling against itself in the ’70s, we wouldn’t be in this horrible equality-for-everyone predicament now.

I look back to 1973, and I’m wondering what would have happened if the two branches of government, the executive and the legislative, simply said, “We appreciate your opinion, court, but now if states wish to empower that, I guess they can do so, but until that happens we’re not automatically going to go killing 55 million babies over the next 40 years.”

As we all know, 1973 was the year the radical liberal Supreme Court — which is apparently not part of any branch of the government because there are only two branches, we guess? — wrote the Roe v. Wade Amendment to the Constitution (it’s No. Neverteen, for those of you Googling), forcing Mike Huckabee and other followers of Jesus Thomas H. Jefferson to personally pay for The Abortion Holocaust.

We will give bonus points to the Huckster for imagining a very polite sort of anarchy. The kind where certain parts of the government refuse to recognize the authority of other parts of the government, but with pleases and thank yous and humblest apologies for refusing to obey the law. But that’s just the sort of cuddly conservative Huck is, right?

In fact, this makes us that much more hopeful he will play the I Wanna Be President game in 2016, even though he has wink-winked that he will not make any decisions until after November’s election. Really, though, what else does he have to do with his time, since his “journalism” idea didn’t work out so well? As far as we can tell, his only job now is to show up at various wingnut conferences and shake his flabby fists of rage about Freedom! and Liberty! and Babies! and Sluts Who Demand Birth Control From “Uncle Sugar!” and explain how that’s called “chivalry.”

So yes, Huck, please do run in 2016 so you can politely tell the entire judiciary which opinions you will and will not adhere to as president. If you haven’t already moved to North Korea, where the real freedom is.

[RightWingWatch]

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