When last we heard from tousle-headed super-lawyer Larry Klayman, he was accepting a public censure from the Washington, D.C. Court of Appeals Board on Professional Responsibility. We were a little surprised that Litigious Larry wasn’t fighting harder, but he wanted to put the case behind him because he had “a lot of important things to do to also protect the American people.” Noble! And this week he unveiled the fruits of his unselfish labor in the form of a petition to deport from the United States one Barry Soetero. Or, as he’s known in popular culture, President Barack Hussein Obama.
Klayman released a statement from his group, FreedomWatch (which is basically just Larry Klayman and the braying voices ricocheting around inside his skull), laying out his reasons for seeking Obama’s deportation. It’s your usual hodgepodge of crap about the president having falsified his birth certificate and his Social Security number, and probably only pretending to be interested in the American sport of basketball instead of whatever game involving tossing around the head of a goat is popular in Kenya, which Klayman still insists is Obama’s real country of origin.
Klayman goes on to assure everyone that this renewed effort to revoke the citizenship of the president of the United States is not “the work of conservatives who are out to get the President.” No no, it’s definitely something that even liberals should be able to get behind:
Barack Obama’s propensity to not tell the truth is now well known, even among his leftist supporters. And, his actions while President belie someone whose actions show that he feels more kinship with his foreign roots and Muslim religious schooling and heritage, than the Judeo-Christian principles upon which this nation was founded.
Whew, that’s a relief. Deport the usurper!
Then it’s on to the actual petition, [pdf] which Klayman helpfully filed with a couple of department heads at Homeland Security and the Office of Immigration and Customs Enforcement, who probably rolled their eyes until they popped out of their sockets and went rolling through the streets of Washington straight into the Potomac. The whole document is a rehash of every birther theory that has been floating around since 2007: Obama was born in Kenya (his grandmother confirmed it!), the certificate he released in 2011 is fake, he is a naturalized citizen of Indonesia because his stepfather adopted him, and so on, world without end, amen.
The only piece of info in the document we don’t recall hearing before (granted, we tend to ignore this dipshittery and surely Orly Taitz has thought of it for one of her million lawsuits) is that under federal immigration statutes in place between 1952 and 1986,
required a U.S. citizen married to an alien to have been physically present in the United States for 10 years, including five after reaching the age of fourteen, to transmit citizenship to foreign born children.
Since Obama’s mother, Stanley Dunham, was only 4 ½ years past her 14th birthday when Obama was born, and was apparently in Kenya for part of the time leading up to his birth anyway, ergo ipso facto etc. etc., the president is not a naturalized citizen.
For supporting evidence, Klayman has attached affidavits from noted geniuses Joe Arpaio and Jerome Corsi. He has also informed the people at Homeland and ICE that he will be submitting copies of Corsi’s Where’s the Birth Certificate? The Case That Barack Obama Is Not Eligible to Be President and a couple of later e-books Corsi wrote both solo and with chief Arpaio investigator (and not-at-all-crazy person) Mike Zullo. So he’s got some pretty solid research to back up his allegations!
Klayman is really getting desperate, having seen all his earlier efforts to arrest Obama and try him for crimes against the American people voices in Klayman’s head come to naught. Maybe he should try a line of work more suited to his intellectual talents, like selling pencils out of a tin cup atop a steam grate.