Some Dude Massacred 1000 Chickens With A Golf Club, May Have Some Issues Perhaps

• There must be a better way to work on your golf swing, no?

  At least one person broke into a Foster Farms chicken shed in Fresno County this month and used a golf club to kill 920 birds, officials said Tuesday. [...]

  A piece of what appeared to be a golf club was found at the scene, Deputy Chris Curtice told the Los Angeles Times.

  Detectives are looking into a motive, but “whoever did something like this is pretty sick,” Curtice said. “It would take a long time to do it…. People should be alarmed at something like that.”

  We have so many questions. Like, was it one person who killed almosta thousandchickens with a golf club? Does he lift weights because that is a lot of swinging, and wouldn't his arm get tired? Did he have some traumatic childhood experience with a chicken? Was it some stupid drunk teens who never heard of mailbox baseball, like stupid drunk teens used to play in the olden days? Also, what? Also, huh? Also, WHAT?!?

  If you have answers, there's a $10,000 reward.

•  Ooooh pretty:  

  The enormous face emerging on the Mall in Washington is laid out on six acres of open space next to the Reflecting Pool and just west of the National World War II Memorial. Although workers were still constructing the image last week, using dark potting soil on a background of lighter-colored sand, an eye and the nose and chin of a young man were already clearly visible from high in the Washington Monument.

  From ground level, Jorge Rodríguez-Gerada’s “Out of Many, One” looks like an eccentric landscaping project; but from the windows of the obelisk, more than 500 feet above the Mall, the work reveals an attractive young man in three-quarter profile, seeming to stare through a large gap formed by trees. Even from that height, he gives the uncanny impression of looking straight at you.

  If you're in D.C., you should check it out. If you're not, you can click and see the picture.

• Big bad government might violate your First Amendment rights to say the name of that Washington Sportsball team on the teevee:

  The Federal Communications Commission is considering whether to punish broadcasters for using the moniker of the Washington NFL team, the Redskins, a word many consider a slur to Native Americans, the agency's chairman indicated on Tuesday.

  The FCC, which enforces broadcast indecency violations, has received a petition from legal activist John Banzhaf III, asking that regulators strip local radio station WWXX-FM of its broadcasting license when it comes up for renewal for using the name "Redskins."

  Banzhaf says the word is racist, derogatory, profane and hateful, making its use "akin to broadcasting obscenity."

• You'd think, after all semi-apologies over the years for publishing cartoons thatsomemight consider kinda sorta racist because they are hello-are-you-kidding-with-that-nonsense? racist, newspapers would, like, stop doing that. But nah. So here's the latest "oops, sorry if anyone was offended" because it is A Day:

  

  
   Yeah. Whatever. Until the next "inadvertent" offense, right?

• Hi, Sen. Pat Roberts ofVirginiaKansas Whatever, what year is it where you live?

  When Roberts’ new team took over his foundering campaign three weeks ago, they discovered an operation that hadn’t ordered any yard signs and a headquarters that didn’t have a computer printer or its own Internet service. Those problems were quickly rectified, and now Roberts is working closely with the Kansas GOP to build a ground game and integrate it with that of Gov. Sam Brownback, who also is in a dogfight but was more prepared.

  The also unpopular Gov. Brownback is better prepared to lose his job in Kansas than comatose Roberts. We hear he's got email and everything. You can reach him at HeBlowsALot@aol.com.

• Next they'll tell us the moon isn't even made of cheese!

  There's a scientific debate underway about the origins of perhaps the most visible man around, and no, it has nothing to do with a certain president's birth certificate. For many years, researchers have reached different conclusions about what formed the feature often referred to as the "Man in the Moon," and this week new NASA data supports the theory that magma from within the moon itself, not an asteroid strike, created that famous face.