We've got a treat for you today, Wonkers -- a visit to the Wonderful World of Ayn Rand, via John Oliver's Last Week Tonight, in which the question must be asked: "Ayn Rand: How is she still a thing?"
Thrill to the philosophical brilliance of Objectivism, which can be boiled down to "a nice way of saying 'being a selfish asshole.'" A philosophy exemplified in heroic novels where men are real men, and women look forward to being raped by them because they're just So Alpha. And even though Rand's novels are "supposed to be something you grow out of, like ska music or handjobs," many captains of industry find her a lifelong inspiration, because sociopaths have to find a justification somewhere.
This is the best brief review of Rand ever put together. To expand it to a full four minutes, they might have included John Rogers's immortal summation:
There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.
[Video via Crooks & Liars / Image: Benjamin Frisch, of course]
Oh and Ivan's speech in Brothers Karamazov would have been 450 pages long and no one would have remembered it, let alone write anything about it.
The Ayn Rand version of the Fleshlight hasn't even got an opening.
This is to teach you the following Libertarian lessons:
1. It's 100% completely rationally self-interested! Your sexual gratification is your own responsibility. 2. You'll have to REALLY force yourself upon it! Just like in Ayn's stories. 3. Market forces! If you hadn't purchased this, the invisible hand of the marketplace would eventually stop such inferior products from being made. 4. Rationality! If you actually wanted to fuck Ayn Rand, she's dead, so you can't.