Bill O'Reilly Thinks Michelle Obama Is A Big Dumb Girl

First lady Michelle Obama sure asks a lot of dumb questions. When she addressed the United Nations Global Education First Initiative earlier this week, for example, she was all, "Do we truly value women as equals, or do we see them as merely second-class citizens?" and "Are we working to become more equal, more free?" These are stupid questions, obviously, because who ever said life is even supposed to be fair? That is just life, and it is unfair, but what's so unfair about that?

Fortunately, Bill O'Reilly used his Derping Points Memo time on his show Friday night to explain to Michelle why she is so dumb for asking these kinds of questions because they "imply that America is not fair to women, and that is a highly charged statement."

Bill then googled "Men's Rights Activist Talking Points 101," and learned us all that sure, even though women tend to on average make less money than men, they go to college more! Plus, also, "what the stats cannot define is the emotional differences between men and women."

You see, once you factor in the "emotional differences" between men and women, the wage gap between them basically disappears.

There are approximately 5-million stay-at-home moms and millions of other American women work part-time, devoting most of their efforts to looking out for their kids. That's a huge factor in the economic comparisons, but it is often underplayed. So the first lady should understand the invalid comparisons that are being made in the gender discussion.

We are not sure exactly how that constitutes an "emotional difference," but Bill understands, and he also understands that Michelle Obama doesn't understand, even though she should, so her entire argument about asking ourselves whether we are fair to girls and ladies is totally invalid. Case closed!

Except that Bill is willing to concede maybe those stats and emotional differences do add up to some kind of unfairness, but that's irrelevant, isn't it, because that's just life, MICHELLE.

"It is true that only 15% of women hold top executive positions in the Fortune 500 companies, and that an old boy network makes it tougher for the ladies to gain power," he valiantly concedes. "That does not seem to be fair, but life is not fair."

So, okay, even if there is not perfect equality after all, who ever said there should be? Besides dumb Michelle and the entire dumb Democratic Party, who is always trying to make things "fair" even though that is not how the world works, so just accept it already that white dudes like Bill O'Reilly are going to have more money and power because they are white dudes and leave it at that because there's nothing you can do about it anyway, dummies.

No government will be able to impose so-called fairness. Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party will try to convince voters that the fix is in against American women, that theme will be front and center in the upcoming presidential campaign. But I do not believe there is a war on women, I do not believe our capitalistic system is holding the ladies back.

The O'Reilly Truth is that when Democrats eventryto make life more fairer for the fairer sex, that just makes everything worse, THANKS OBAMA.

Finally, we have all seen what's happened in the past six years that President Obama has tried and tried to impose social justice. The progressive vision of enforced equality leads to gross injustices and economic stagnation. Many companies now fear women: they are afraid of lawsuits, controversy, and negative branding. And believe me, that's a big reason some women are held back.

See? The obvious answer is to do nothing about anything, because doing things is unfair to companies and big strong men who are afraid of lawsuits, and how unfair is that?!? Why should someone have to worry he will get sued for calling up an employee and telling her he wants to do her with a Middle Eastern snack, for example?

Life is unfair, Bill says, but let's be honest: if it's going to be unfair, it should be unfair to the ladies. Because trying to do anything about it is unfair to everyone else. And that is definitely not how life should be.

You can watch the video, but you'll probably need a nice long shower. With a falafel.

[ Mediaite ]