Republicans: We Are Human And We Need To Be Loved

Of all the names we have called Republicans in our time writing for this mommyblog -- fish-lipped poop goblins, crusty fuck-socks, bipedal tubs of butter, Republicans -- there is one label we have never had the decency to grant them: People! Now a PR firm from Texas wants to change that with this awesome video letting us know all the ways that Republicans are people too. They have tattoos! (Often of crying eagles.) They read the New York Times ! (Mostly so they can write snarly insults on the latest Paul Krugman column.) They have feelings, you guys! They are not monsters, or replicants, or lizard people. (We see you waving your hand in the air, David Icke.)

We cannot even tell you the joy this video has brought us. Here is the transcript of the actual chat cave conversation we had about it:

kaili 1: 36 PMcan you watch it and tell me if it's as awesome as I hope it is?

gary 1: 37 PMsure

gary 1: 39 PMkaili, it is even better than you imagined

kaili 1: 39 PMit is?

gary 1: 39 PMoh my god, i think i just peed a little watching it

almost spit grilled squash on my computer monitor

kaili 1: 40 PMI just started but wait, there's a hashtag?????

oh god

I'm getting excited

kaili 1: 41 PMholy shit that is awesome

omg omg

gary 1: 42 PMrepublicans have tattoos! they like dogs!

they're not witches! they're you!

gary 1: 43 PMwasn't even aware that "republicans are not people" was an issue this cycle. the things you learn

doktorzoom 1: 45 PMI for one feel really bad for suggesting that they were minerals

Republicans are people! Who knew? And they have apparently grown tired of sitting in their rooms listening to the Smiths, writing in their journals, and yelling at whoever knocks on the door to go away, we’re busy, God, you suck, Mom! 

Anyway, enjoy the video. And note to the #ImaRepublican campaign: Might we suggest replacing the music with this classic ?

[ HuffPo ]