John McCain Hearts James O'Keefe, Osama Bin Laden
On Wednesday, the Senate’s Homeland Security Committee held hearings about possible terrorist infiltration of the nation’s southern border. This gave lifelike waxworks statue Sen. John McCain (R-Dang Fence) a chance to cite the spectacular work of “journalist” James O’Keefe in exposing the lack of security along a drainage ditch somewhere in the ass end of Texas. Or, as that area is known to everyone else, Texas.
You may recall O’Keefe’s amazing video from last month showing that a white guy could easily put on a rubber Osama bin Laden Halloween mask and wade into America from Mexico under cover of full daylight at high noon. Just like the terrorists would do it! Which led to this priceless exchange between McCain and Undersecretary for Homeland Security Francis Taylor, who must have sunk a knife into an artery in his leg under the witness table to keep from even cracking a smile.
TAYLOR: I’m satisfied that we have the intelligence and the capability at our border that would prevent that activity (terrorists crossing the border).
MCCAIN: Well you know it’s interesting because a American reporter named James O’Keefe dressed as Osama bin Laden walked across the border at the Rio Grande river undetected. Does something like that concern you?
Somehow Taylor managed to not reply, “No, reporters doing stunts for the camera to keep the wingnut welfare dollars flowing into their shady organizations because it beats having to get a real job do not concern me,” probably because he correctly figured it was easier to allow McCain to gurgle out whatever dumb thoughts were passing through what remains of his mind before his staff led him back to his office for his afternoon pudding cup.
TAYLOR: Actually sir, he was not undetected. He was known to the border security agencies who walked…saw him…
MCCAIN: Then why didn’t they stop him when he came across?
Oh we don’t know, Senator. Maybe because Border Patrol agents have bigger things to worry about than stopping James O’Keefe from filming his dumb student documentaries for the Rutgers film school? Because they were busy looking for actual illegal border crossers?
The video concludes with James O’Keefe, probably sporting a chubby that still wouldn’t be enough to keep a real live woman hanging around his dildo boat, bragging about how McCain was not quoting the New York Times , but rather Project Veritas. Probably because the New York Times has real reporters covering the crisis and it is too messy to lend itself to easy soundbites.
We’ll check back at the next Homeland Security Committee hearing, when McCain will be sure to ask Taylor why no one stopped O’Keefe from bringing a Zodiac boat full of radioactive poutine across our border with Canada.
[ YouTube ]
All of us, Katie.
Yeah, but just because it ices over, that doesn't mean that the ice everywhere is stable (far from it) or isn't full of large gaps and heaves (they are plentiful) and that trying to cross the 50 - 60 miles of lake ice from shore to shore isn't utterly suicidal (it is, without question). Because for one thing if you run into serious trouble way out in the middle of the lake, rescue is all but impossible and you will most certainly die out there.
Once in college when I was much younger and consequently had next to no common sense I went with a friend out onto frozen Lake Erie just for kicks one sunny winter day. We trudged around out there for about three hours, marveling at the ice blocks that were the size of small office buildings. It was basically OK for about a quarter mile out, but we were stupid and managed to wander out about 2 miles from shore before we realized it. We got back in OK but it took a l-o-o-o-o-n-g time to get back to shore and we felt like popsicles when we finally reached solid ground. A big part of that was because for awhile we weren't even sure where the shore was; we could no longer see it from our location, and out on the ice there were zero landmarks to orient ourselves to. It was dusk when we finally got back and we were damned lucky that we didn't get stuck out there after dark.