Sore Loser Mitt Romney Is Still Sore Loser, Lesbian Feminists Will Destroy Us All, And Other News You Can Maybe Use

Yes, it's Friday. You're welcome.

• Sore loser Mitt Romney is still sore loser :

  “I was not a big fan of the president’s policies, as you know, either domestically or internationally,” Romney said, according to Fox News. “But the results of his mistakes and errors, in my opinion, have been more severe than even I would have predicted.”

• There are many good reasons to roll your eyes at the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. Like how if you want to support a cause, you could just give money or time to supporting that cause without getting wet. This , however, is not one of those good reasons:

  A Roman Catholic diocese in Ohio is discouraging its 113 schools from participating in the ice bucket challenge to benefit the ALS Association, saying the group’s funding of embryonic stem cell research is “in direct conflict with Catholic teaching.” [...]

  The diocese said schools could participate in the ice bucket challenge, but any money raised should be directed to groups like the John Paul II Medical Research Institute in Iowa City, Iowa, which conducts “pro-life driven” research, according to its website.

• So that racist cartoon everyone was talking about? Pffft, it is SO not racist. You just have to look at it in " context ":

  In response to criticism of the syndicated cartoon published yesterday, I would ask readers to look at it in context. [...]

  The editorial cartoon yesterday accompanied a Rich Lowry column about the unfortunate presence of looters and how that is not a legitimate form of protest.

  See, it could not possibly be racist because Rick Lowry. So there.

•  Speaking of racism and douchebags and racist douchebags:

  ESPN NFL Analyst and NFL Hall of Famer Mike Ditka made his position on the Redskins’ name controversy crystal clear Wednesday afternoon.

  In an interview with Mike Richman, a ‘Redskins Historian,’ the former Super Bowl winning coach called the criticism of the Redskins’ name “horse shit.”

  “What’s all the stink over the Redskin name? It’s so much horse shit it’s incredible.”

  “We’re going to let the liberals of the world run this world. It was said out of reverence, out of pride to the American Indian. Even though it was called a Redskin, what are you going to call them, a Brownskin?”

  Thanks for those really deep thoughts, Mike. Now please eat a bag of dicks.

• Pro tip:  re-enacting the death of Michael Brown is probably not a good idea. Ever.

  A sixth grade Brantley Elementary teacher was put on paid administrative leave Wednesday after a Facebook post revealed the teacher allegedly instructed the students Tuesday to reenact a Ferguson, Mo. shooting known nationwide.

  Jessica Baughn, the mother of Brantley sixth grade student Jimmy Griffin, posted a complaint Tuesday on the Sound Off Selma Facebook page. In the post, Guaghn expressed her shock after learning a teacher had told the class to reenact the shooting in which an unarmed Mike Brown was shot by police Aug. 9 in Ferguson, Mo.

• Another day, another man killed by police :

  The Harford County Sheriff's Office says a man died after deputies used electronic stun guns to subdue him. [...]

  Officers say Williams resisted arrest and deputies used electronic stun guns to subdue him. Deputies say after Williams was handcuffed, he appeared to be in medical distress.

  Williams was taken to a hospital, where he died.

• Time for all True Conservatives to rise up and fight against the scourge of lesbians :

  American Spectator blogger Robert Stacy McCain argues today that conservatives must begin to focus on what is really ailing the country: lesbians. [...]

  For more than four decades, so-called “mainstream” feminism has attempted to marginalize (or at least to conceal from widespread public scrutiny) the outspoken advocates of this radical ideology, despite the fact that lesbian feminism is the logical conclusion of the basic feminist theory, which views men and women as collective groups that have inherently hostile interests. However, in the Women’s Studies programs that have proliferated on American university campuses, enrolling more than 90,000 female students annually, the curriculum invariably features lesbian feminist treatises, and the professors who teach these courses are often themselves proudly “out” lesbians. Graduates of Women’s Studies programs are employed in key roles at “mainstream” feminist organizations, so that the radical agenda and the mainstream agenda have steadily merged over the years.

  As a proud graduate of a Women's Studies program that failed miserably to turn us into a radical lesbian (can we get our money back?), may we humbly suggest that Robert Stacy McCain also eat a bag of dicks.

What's got you wanting to start the weekend early? It must be cocktail o'clock somewhere.