Now Captain Ron Johnson Is a Gang Member, Sure Why Not

Thank goodness we live in a POST-RACIAL SOCIETY, where black people are not automatically suspected of being gang members for making shapes with their hands. Hahaha, just kidding!

Everyone knows black people use their hands likethis, white people use their hands likethat. So now, in addition to the foregone conclusion that Ferguson teen Michael Brown was most definitely a gangsta hopped up on marijuana and rap music, some doofus on the interwebs is just wonderin' if Missouri Highway Patrol Captain Ron Johnson may also be flashing gang signs, as every single black person does because they are all in gangs, as we all know. Thankfully and tragically, the Washington Post is here to dispel that rumor :

Today in Ferguson, Mo., news, The Washington Post takes on the assertion that Missouri Highway Patrol Captain Ron Johnson has been photographed flashing gang signs with members of the community.

He has not.

Oh yeah? Well then, what IS he doing with his hands in all of these super suspicious looking pictures if he is not flashing gang signs like he is some kind of gangster who has managed to infiltrate the Highway Patrol and turn it into a gang, which is the obvious explanation, ISN'T IT?

To reiterate: Capt. Johnson is a member of Kappa Alpha Psi, a black fraternity that was formed in 1911 at Indiana University in Bloomington, and the hand sign you see in the pictures below is a Kappa greeting.

Oh.

To be fair, this particular allegation that Captain Johnson was flashing gang signs with his black gang-sign-flashing hands did not come from an actual CNN reporter, but from CNN iReport, which we guess is the equivalent of the comments section in which any moron with dial-up can "share your story with CNN, and quite possibly the world." The report has since be removed, so we're going to give CNN the benefit of the doubt and assume (or hope, anyway) that whichever CNN intern has the thankless job of monitoring CNN's Citizen iJournamalism realized this was maybe NOT a story CNN wanted to share with "quite possibly the world."

After all, it's not as if an actual reporter would really jump to the conclusion that black people doing things with their hands means they are up to some kind of no good. Right ?

</p><p>Oh right. That. </p><p>Naturally, pictures of Captain Johnson flashing <del>gang</del> fraternity signs have led the most despicable corners of the internet <a href="https: //twitter.com/true_east_/statuses/501588649054838784" target="_blank">to posit</a> that he, like Michael Brown and, let's face it, every black person in America, is just another "thug." </p><p><a href="https://assets.rbl.ms/17683429/origin.png"><img id="b8722" data-rm-shortcode-id="d2996cc36ffeb5af01c75d1604f587f6" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" class="rm-shortcode " loading="lazy" src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xNzY4MzQyOS9vcmlnaW4ucG5nIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTcwMTc0OTc0MH0.BMjFyPKUnyJBiCutyLyqe7I9z1I3PMhYin5jCWWv2O0/img.png?width=980" /></a> </p><p>With Attorney General Eric Holder heading to Missouri today to see for himself just what the hell is going on there, we nauseously expect wild speculation that he too is on it. You know, that whole being black in America thing. </p><p>[<a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/08/20/missouri-highway-patrol-capt-ron-johnson-is-not-a-gang-member-hes-just-a-kappa/">WaPo</a>/picture via <a href="https://twitter.com/DearRanda/status/501780699536314368/photo/1" target="_blank">@DearRanda</a>]</p>