For sale, one gently used website. No, not this one, idjits. You will pry wonket from our cold dead fingers, because as God is our witness we will never job-search again. No, our sweet little sister site, HappyNiceTimePeople.com, is for sale for the going rate: $47 and a sandwich.
Many of you have asked over the last 10 months-ish, “What is HappyNiceTimePeople anyway?” which is a question we could never really answer, which was our bad. “Eh? It’s a thing?” we said. Mostly we had visions of sweet sweet Google Ads money (your Wonkette is blackballed from Google Ads, for ever, for being gauche we guess) and then that didn’t happen and actually it doesn’t really make very much money at all in fact it kind of cost us a lot? Of money, which could be better spent at home? It is like those idiots who think you can balance the budget without cutting anything but foreign aid and school lunch, except in this case it is kind of true? Do you like money? You should probably not buy HappyNiceTimePeople.com.
So what happened to make us finally pull Happy’s plug? First Snipy was like “I would rather have seven full-time jobs than continue working as Happy’s editor,” then we hired Sara Benincasa to edit-in-chief that fucker, and then about three weeks later she got a THIRD book deal to go with her previous two and she was all “ulp?” and we were all “ulp?” and then we decided fuck it, this is diverting time and resources away from our REAL babby — AMERCIA FIRST!!! — and let’s MURDER IT WITH A HAMMER IN ITS CUTE LITTLE KITTEN HEAD.
We’ll bring over to Wonkette the pieces we like — the recipes and the clipbait and the sportsball and Kaili being Mad About A Thing and some other weird stuff maybe. We like that Kaleb Horton kid a lot! Have you read him? He’s bizarre!
But! We mean it about you buying it from us. Maybe you work at Jezebel, and you want to die. Or maybe you are slaving the fuck away as a blogger for some alt weekly that does not appreciate you, and you KNOW if you had your own shop it would blow everybody away. Then email us at rebecca at wonkette dot com! If nobody buys it (nobody will buy it) we’ll just keep it there, looming and glowing like a ghost ship on the horizon, or like a dead cat, one or the other. But if you are a lunatic who works all the time, and you are kind of brilliant if you do say so yourself, and you think you could make a go of what we didn’t, the keys are yours. We like to share.