A Children's Treasury Of Thoughtful Reactions To The Capture Of That Top Benghazi Suspect

 
 So you might think that this would be something that wingnuts would be happy about: U.S. Special Forces have captured Ahmed Abu Khattala, one of the suspected ringleaders of the attack on the American diplomatic compound in Benghazi. He was captured in a raid in Libya and will be brought to the United States for trial on terrorism charges. But actually, they have a lot of mixed feels, man. On the one hand, it's probably a good thing. On the other hand, isn't there something awfully suspicious about the fact that Barack Obama, who didn't care about the 4 Americans Killed at Benghazi, has all of a sudden gone and captured Khattala? What's the real story, anyway? Is this just a big distraction from the Bergdahl deal? Just what the hell is Obama up to???

First off, there's the very questionable timing of the capture. According to everyone on the right wing, as of this afternoon, Khattala had just been walking around openly in Libya, not hiding at all, so capturing him could have been done by some part-time campus cops from any major university, probably. Former congresscritter and Deadbeat Dad Joe Walsh certainly thinks so:  

And super-Patriot Allen West knows a distraction from Benghazi when he sees one:  

Question is, do we even know the nationality of the squirrel? 

This is easily Obama's biggest ruse since that time he killed bin Laden to distract from his birth certificate.

But wait -- what if Obama isn't trying to hide his own failings? What if he's trying to rig the next election? Here's a clip from Fox's Outnumbered, in which the guy on the panel ( Peter Hegseth? We know none of these people) explains that it's all "too neat" and that, in fact, the timing is pretty darn convenient, considering that Hillary Clinton is going to be interviewed on Fox News tonight:

Yep, that's just how politicized the military has become -- Knowing that Hillary would be on Fox News, Obama obviously sent a Special Forces team to Libya to scoop up this one guy so that she could escape the harsh criticism that she'd otherwise face on Fox. After all, isn't that what you'd expect in a world where Barack Obama could have instantly stopped the terrorists on September 11, 2012, but decided to do cocaine, have gay sex, and play golf instead?

The important takeaway, of course, is that the Pentagon has to be lying about all this; after all, as Fox reporter James Rosen pointed out, if reporters were able to meet Khattala to interview him, then it should have been much easier than they say it was to arrange an international military operation to arrest him, because in the movies the special forces could have just dressed as reporters, made an appointment to interview him, and then used knock-out gas or something. Jeeze, does Obama think the American public is stupid or something?

John Boehner had this to say:  

"It is obviously good news that this terrorist is now in American custody, and I am grateful for the work of our military -- assisted by the FBI -- in capturing him," Boehner said. "I look forward to hearing more details regarding the raid, and I expect the administration to give our military professionals time to properly gather any useful intelligence he has."

Careful, Mr. Speaker -- that sounds almost like he thinks Obama did a good thing. How long will Republicans have to put up with this clearly unpatriotic Speaker of the House?

Also, John McCain and Lindsey Graham don't want Khattala tried in a federal court, which comes as a huge surprise.

"Guantanamo [is] where we put terrorists, where we apprehend them," McCain told reporters on Capitol Hill. "Where else can you take him to?"

Graham argued that Khattala should be held as an enemy combatant at the detention facility, adding that he was hopeful the suspect would provide "good intelligence."

"We should have some quality time with this guy -- weeks and months," Graham said. "Don't torture him, but have some quality time with him."

Apparently the U.S. Constitution is the greatest document ever written, providing liberty and justice for all, but it's too fucking soft on terrorism.