Get out your Post-Tragedy Bingo Cards, kids -- the Family Research Council (motto: "All research vetted by our opinion") has found a couple of additional suspects in last weekend's killing spree in Isla Vista, California. While crazy feminists think that maybe the killings might have something to do with Elliot Rodger's open declaration of hatred for women who didn't give him the sex he so richly deserved, the FRC wants nothing to do with such facile explanations, which make no sense at all since women actually do owe men sex, at least if the men do dishes. Instead, they link Rodger's murderous impulses to far more logical culprits: marriage equality and the Affordable Care Act. It's such a relief to see that we're finally reaching a sensible interpretation of this otherwise inexplicable event.
On Tuesday, we got two seemingly contradictory but ultimately consistent explanations of Isla Vista from the FRC. First, Ken Blackwell, a senior fellow with the organization, kicked around with FRC president Tony Perkins the "root cause" of violence in America, which is, of course, “the crumbling of the moral foundation of the country” and “the attack on natural marriage and the family.” You see, all this shooting and stabbing is just a natural result of people getting married when they have the wrong configuration of genitalia, which pretty much opens the gates to all sorts of horrors. Blackwell continued,
“When these fundamental institutions are attacked and destroyed and weakened and abandoned, you get what we are now seeing[.]”
Heck, the big surprise is that with all the gay marrying going on, there's not a lot more massacres. This is just simple logic, sheeple.
</p><p>Later on Tuesday, on his own radio show, Tony Perkins <a href="http: //www.rightwingwatch.org/content/tony-perkins-manages-link-isla-vista-massacre-obamacare" target="_blank">shared some additional thoughts </a>about the true reasons for Rodger's misogyny: it doesn't really have anything to do with sexism or the assumption that women exist to fulfill men's sexual desire. Rather, it's a result of Hollywood, which partakes of the same culture of instant gratification that makes people assume they "deserve" sex or affordable medical treatment whenever they want it: </p><p/><blockquote>“nothing is being said about how Hollywood has sexualized everything where it’s almost like Obamacare, you have a right to healthcare, you have a right to sexual gratification, almost.”</blockquote> <p><iframe frameborder="no" height="166" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/151853774&color=ff5500" width="100%"/> </p><p>See, if people just realized that the only things you have the right to are a gun, a Bible, and, once you've provided sufficient identification, a vote (maybe), then the world would be a much better place. Oh shut up, you fucking baby. </p><p>Needless to say, the ridiculously easy availability of weapons has nothing to do with any of it. </p><p>[<a href="http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/family-research-council-spokesman-links-isla-vista-shooting-spree-gay-marriage" target="_blank">RightWingWatch</a> / <a href="%E2%80%9Cnothing%20is%20being%20said%20about%20how%20Hollywood%20has%20sexualized%20everything%20where%20it%E2%80%99s%20almost%20like%20Obamacare,%20you%20have%20a%20right%20to%20healthcare,%20you%20have%20a%20right%20to%20sexual%20gratification,%20almost.%E2%80%9D%20-%20See%20more%20at:%20http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/tony-perkins-manages-link-isla-vista-massacre-obamacare" target="_blank">RightWingWatch</a>] </p><p><em>Follow Doktor Zoom on <a href="http://www.twitter.com/DoktorZoom" target="_blank">Twitter.</a> Lucky winners may receive a roll of Occam's Ducttape </em></p>
Check Your Bingo Cards; Gay Marriage & Obamacare Finally Blamed For Isla Vista Murders
&quot;[I]t&rsquo;s almost like Obamacare, you have a right to healthcare, you have a right to sexual gratification, almost.&rdquo;
Almost? Shit, I knew I should have signed up for the gold plan.
If FEMA = Fundamentalist Escape-proof Mental Asylums, I&#039;m all in.