No wonder Subarus would rather be driven by lesbiansGlabrous scurf-picker Keith Ablow, who somehow maintains an on-air presence with Fox News despite being the worst psychiatrist in the world, devoted some quality Fox & Friends time Wednesday to the important issue of how the womens are just too uppity. You might think this would be a poor choice of topic just a few days after a California misogynist killed six people and himself because he believed women control men’s sexuality, but this is Fox News, for heaven’s sake, and besides, those murders happened because of the ghey.

The segment didn’t mention that particular little event, which was, after all, a long time ago; instead, it started off with some video from a British Men’s Right’s group — Brian Kilmeade calls it a “social experiment,” but it’s from the ManKind Initiative, a British group that argues that domestic violence against men is systematically ignored. The video shows a couple of staged public confrontations, one with a man yelling at and pushing a woman, another with the roles reversed, and it’s all the proof needed to get Keith Abloviating about how bad men have it:

“This is the tip of the iceberg,” Ablow opined. “Remember Lorena Bobbitt? Yep. She castrated her husband for cheating, and people laughed, and they told jokes on air about it. Can you imagine if a man did that to a woman for cheating — dismembered her — and people told jokes about it on air? That person would lose his job.”

You know, we do remember a few things about Lorena Bobbitt! We remember that she was tried for assault, because cutting off body parts is Srs Bsns, and that part of her defense was that John Bobbitt systematically abused her throughout her marriage. We had to look up the details, and as it turns out, she was found not guilty — not because women get a free pass in cutting off men’s peepees, but because she was considered insane. So, yeah, hell of an analogy there.

Also, too, said Ablow, when men have to get divorced, “they prepare for the slaughter? They are, in a wholesale fashion, prejudiced against in that setting.” This is just so very true that when Yr. Dok Zoom used to work in family court, he could not convince a gentleman that child support was based on income and the amount of time with each parent, not on gender. Not even when he offered to run the calculation with the names and genders switched, to get the same number.

And then, of course, there’s Ablow’s favorite example, Abortion Discrimination:

Do we not know that we think of it as crazy that a man would have the right — as I have suggested — in say, the second trimester of pregnancy to block woman’s pregnancy [from being terminated] because that’s my baby too?” he asked.

“We think that’s crazy. And yet, if a woman donated an ovum, and a man insisted, I’m going to use that with a surrogate, and have my own child, we’d say, ‘Wait a second, that’s her genetic material.’ There’s a huge double standard. Of course there is.”

Once again, Yr. Wonkette regrets the lack of any ability to magic Mr. Ablow into a Twilight Zone where he has a functioning uterus and somebody else wants to make decisions about it. We believe that this would provide a satisfying narrative solution to Ablow’s stupidity, and are frankly quite annoyed that modern science techno-literary science has failed to be of any help in this matter, since obviously Keith Ablow lacks the imagination and empathy to think of it himself.


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