The poor oppressed gun fondlers in the San Antonio chapter of Open Carry Texas just can’t seem to get the respect they deserve. In San Antonio, the poor dears were asked to leave a Sonic and a Chili’s after showing up with all their guns, prompting one of the victims of fascist Nazi gunhate to explain to his daughter that they had to leave because it’s just not safe to eat fast food without your AR-15 close at hand. Yes, this is what America has come to. Why can’t things be like the good old days, when bands of guys with assault rifles were a common sight at the old malt shoppe?
We are also kind of in love with the lady at Chili’s who doesn’t want one of their dumb “Have You Heard the Good News of the Second Amendment” pamphlets, calling them “Texas retards,” and adding, “There’s children here, and you’re a dumbass.”
The gun fondler replies, “Thank you. ‘Preciate that,” and as she moves out of earshot, someone says, “Yeah. I’m a dumbass…must be Moms Demand Action,” the anti-gun group the Open Carry folks respect so much they call them “thugs with jugs.”
Sadly, the patriots were asked to leave their guns in their vehicles, prompting more discussion of how “this Chili’s is no longer the safest Chili’s to eat” and leading a fellow (the same one?) in the parking lot to rehearse what he shoulda said to the mean lady in the restaurant: “I wish I had my kids with me, I’d have gone like, ‘hey dumbass, I got my kids right here. Your child’s safe. You think I’m gonna let someone shoot my kids?'”
And then they went on, ready to save America from gun-grabbing thugs and dumbasses.
Texas Open Carry removed the videos this weekend after releasing a statement Friday calling on their affiliates to please not open carry rifles into private businesses any more, since for some reason the tactic doesn’t seem to be showing people that gun fondlers are sweet caring people who just want to protect themselves — and YOU — from whatever scary threat might pop up at any moment, really any moment now, you know there are killers everywhere and you have to be ready to shoot someone every time you leave your
bunker home, it’s just common sense.
Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He can sympathize with the gunvangelists — nobody ever takes his “Have you accepted Ponies into your life?” pamphlets.