Rick Santorum Wants To Socialize Your Slut Pills

We hope you're sitting down, because we are about to agree with Rick Santorum. But only partly. (You may resume breathing now.) Santorum came up with his brilliant idea during a Q & A session while he was flogging his frothy new book, and here is that thing that he came up with: instead of mandating that contraception be covered by private health insurance, how about we just have the government pay for contraception for everyone? We could actually get behind that, especially if to sweeten the pot, we could take it a bit farther and add a single-payer health insurance system as well (it was worth a try).

Santorum made the suggestion as part of an answer to an audience member's question about how he balances his personal religious views with the need to craft public policy for a population of people who don't all share those views. [Fact check: Rick Santorum has not been in a position to craft public policy since 2007.] He explained that there are lots of things he opposes but that are still legal, like contraception and women walking around without burqas. His only concern is that the mean old government can "force" people to pay for contraception under their private health insurance, which makes baby George Washington cry eagle tears.

But there's really a simple solution, says Santorum:

"It would be less objectionable to me," Santorum said, "for the government to go out and say we're going to pay for all the pharmacies to stock contraception and give them out free. Am I paying for it indirectly? Yes, through my taxes, but I pay for a lot of things with my taxes that I don't like."

We suppose that a lot of people would not really see the distinction between "paying a small portion of your insurance premium for contraceptive coverage" and "paying a small portion of your taxes for contraceptive coverage," but somehow, this is an acceptable compromise to Rick Santorum. We'll give him a few minutes before he realizes that he's just proposed socialist slut pills and starts walking it back.

Here is your video of Rick Santorum advocating socialism:

Rick Santorum knows the REAL reason the ACA doesn't just provide contraceptives to everybody for free (which we can't imagine anyone could ever object to... like when Rush Limbaugh thought his taxes were supporting sluts with all their slutty birth control). The real reason that the ACA mandates contraception coverage, he said, was to force Christians to "bow to Caesar" and have their religious rights stripped away, because that's just how the Kenyan Usurper do.

[ RightWingWatch ]

 Follow Doktor Zoom on Twitter. He just wants the government to pay for Derp Control