Hero Anti-Gay Scouting Group Will Also Save Your Children From Mormons And Jews

You might remember that last year, a bunch of angry conservative Christians decided to take their toys and go home because the Boy Scouts were no longer going to stone gays to death. They created a nonsense organization called Trail Life aka Purity Scouts that promised that instead of cramming the gay down your kids' throats, they'd shove some good old-fashioned religion all the way down there instead. Oh, except for that part where if your religion is Mormon or Jewish or any other of them funny not-Jesus religions, your throat cannot be rammed full of conservative goodness.

The FAQ section of the Trail Life website reads, “Trail Life USA is a Trinitarian Christian organization with a Statement of Faith that includes those denominations that specifically recognize Jesus Christ as the prophesized Messiah of the Jewish scriptures.”

So-called “Messianic Jews” who believe that Jesus of Nazareth was the Messiah as Christians do may hold leadership positions within the organization, but no others.

Trail Life requires that all scouts and leaders sign a “Statement of Faith” in the Christian religion. “(A) person of the Jewish faith would not be able to sign our Statement of Faith,” said the website.

Jesus-y scouting people, we are disappoint. How will you fill willing boys with Christ's love if you exclude those nonbelievers? Isn't this really an opportunity to spread the message of Christ to heathens? We get the No Homo policy, because everyone knows if a gay kid comes within 20 feet of your kid, your son automatically starts singing show tunes. We even get that you don't want a Jew to scout lead all over your kids, because he'll probably just lead them right to a synagogue and have them all circumcised, but you're really missing out on recruitment opportunities by not letting kids who believe in the wrong sort of skygod come your way, because those kids have soft mushy brains you can mold.

Oh, Mormons? You're out too, you weirdos.

“Mormons would not participate in our program as a denomination because of our specific Statement of Faith which holds a belief in the Trinity, which is not in step with Mormon theology.”

With such an open door policy, combined with the fact that everyone is fleeing the Boy Scouts in droves, however will Trail Life will be able to keep up with all the boys coming their way? It must be a crushing onslaught of boys!

Trail Life has established units in more than 40 states, mostly from Boy Scouts and parents who feel their old organization has lost its way. It has about 600 units up and running or in the process of registration [...]

It is still a tiny movement compared to Scouting, which has nearly 2.5 million youth members and remains a powerful force in American life, even with a 6 percent drop in membership last year.

Hmmm. It's almost as if most people do not care if a gay or a Jew or a Mormon comes near their precious little bundle of Boy Scout! Who knew? Oh, that's right. Everybody knew, which is why the Boy Scouts finally let the gays in. But by all means, Trail Life, keep being a refuge for people who believe the purpose of teaching kids to make fire or tie fishing knots or whatever the hell it is scouts do should just be a vehicle to drag them to your particularly cramped and sad view of religion. That way, you people are with your own kind and can't bother us anymore. Everybody wins!

[ Raw Story / Mercury News ]