Special Prosecutors Dismiss Case Against Liberal Group, Explain James O'Keefe Is A Liar

There’s rarely a chance for us to say this, so please savor the moment: We have good news out of Texas, where prosecutors dismissed a stupid case against Battleground Texas, a liberal group trying to persuade Texans to stop voting for idiots, which was brought about when known ass-clown and rightwing sockpuppet James O’Keefe lied about their activities, because he is a liar. 

Once again, James O’Keefe sent his motivated minions undercover to find out what nefarious activities liberals were doing. Would he find our secret lair where we ensure all womyn abort every Republican fetus at an agnostic non-religious service, surrounded by Hollywood liberals and statues of FDR sucking Barack Obama’s schlong? No, that remains secret. But here is what he found:  

The inquiry began after conservative activist James O'Keefe and his group, Project Veritas, made a video that purported to show Battleground Texas workers talking about transcribing telephone numbers from voter registration cards they'd collected. O'Keefe said in the video that taking phone numbers violated Texas law, and Republican leaders, including Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst, called for a criminal investigation.

WE WANT BEHEADINGS! Burn them, for they are likely witches who float in water like very small rocks! With such damning evidence, Battleground Texas will surely go down in the annals of history as the most corruptest organization in Texas history. Seriously, this smoking gun evidence should have those Battleground Texas folks in prison and likely on death row in no time, right?

Special prosecutor John Economidy, a Republican, told The Associated Press that he and fellow special prosecutor Christine Del Prado, a Democrat, determined that Battleground Texas did not violate state election law by transcribing phone numbers submitted on voter registration forms. San Antonio Judge Raymond Angelini signed the dismissal without comment on Friday, Economidy added.

Hooray! Victory! Nice Time! And in Texas of all places!! Let’s victorysplore what happened.

Because Attorney General Greg Abbott and the Bexar County district attorney are running for re-election, the case was given to Economidy and Del Prado to investigate. The 18-page special prosecutor's report found Battleground Texas' activities were legal and in keeping with standard electioneering practices used by both political parties for decades.

But but but, James O’Keefe SAID that they BROKE the law! And he said it on the video, and anything on a video that makes it to the internets is TRUE, ipso facto latin lawerly language ergo proctor sum, right?

"The Veritas video was little more than a canard and political disinformation," the prosecutor's report said. "The video was particularly unprofessional when it suggested that the actions of Battleground Texas were advocated by a Texas gubernatorial candidate and that the actions of a single volunteer deputy registrar may even involve private health data, which is not involved in the voter registration process."

Oh. So basically James O’Keefe distributed a video that has been legally determined to be political disinformation, and somehow got people to believe him, despite his track record of illegal activities and unfounded accusations. 

But no harm, no foul, right? It's not like Battleground Texas had to spend their time and limited money defending itself against bogus accusations. And O’Keefe got plenty of publicity out of it, which probably helped bring in cash to bankroll his next exploit, which will cause another liberal organization to defend itself against false accusations while the conservative media continues to believe whatever O’Keefe says because journalism is a thing of the past, kids.

Anyway, let’s be happy today because justice eventually prevailed, even in Texas.

[ Highland Today ]