You Won't Believe How Much This Town Paid To Not Have Ted Nugent Play A Concert There!
OK, that clickbait headline is probably not true, because when it comes to how much monies we would pay not to see Ted Nugent, the answer is "all of them, Katie." We really would not have figured that our sentiments were shared by a town in East Texas, though we are happy to have been proven incorrect. Some place we have never heard of called Longview, Texas, was forced to cough up money to cancel Nugent's appearance after some stone cold genius stuck in the sub-basement of the city offices somewhere finally realized "oh hey, this guy is not a great family-friendly sort of person."
The town of Longview, Texas paid Nugent $16,000 to not appear at the town's Fourth of July Festival. According to KLTV, a city spokesman said Nugent was "not the right feel for this kind of community event."
The city had reached a verbal agreement with Nugent, scheduling the rocker as the headliner who would play inside the Maude Cobb Convention and Activity Center during the town's Independence Day celebration. To break that agreement, the town paid Nugent half of his guaranteed performance fee of $32,000 from Maude Cobb's annual budget.
Let us first take a moment to bow our heads and cry real tears over the fact that Ted Nugent still commands 32K for each performance.
We're just not sure why ANYONE would find Teddy less than family-friendly fodder. Is it the pants-shitting draft-dodging? Naw. Hiding out from seeing combat in Vietnam was totally cool when George W. Bush did it, so that's probably not a downside for Texas. Was it calling President Obama a subhuman mongrel and then notpologizing about it? Maybe so!
Amid the controversy surrounding Nugent's appearance with Texas gubernatorial candidate Greg Abbott, organizers decided to cancel the singer's appearance.
Abbott's Tyler stop in February came just days after a joint appearance with Ted Nugent. In the face of controversy, Abbott said inviting Nugent to campaign with him was nothing more than a way to stand firm on second amendment rights.
One thing that is for certain: Republicans are SO BUTTHURT about the cancellation, because of how it violates the First Amendment and freedom and America and Jesus.
Gregg County Republican Party Chair Keith Rothra said he disagrees with the city's actions regarding Nugent saying it was "very expensive political correctness."
"I'm sad the City of Longview has done this. I think it was done by a great deal of political correctness, political pressure," Rothra said. "We have various performers who have made all kinds of statements that rattled people's conscience and yet they are still slated as performers."
We're not sure we would describe it as merely rattling a conscience to say you'd be dead or in jail if Obama wins, but maybe that is just us. We tried our damndest to find out what other performers will be appearing in Longview who might have almost maybe sorta threatened to kill the president or something similar, but we were not able to find any list whatsoever. Perhaps the GOP just finds the mere inclusion of a multi-cultural stage conscience-rattling? Actually, that is probably true.
Poor Longview. Now that they've had to pay Ted to go away, their only possible replacement performer is gubernatorial candidate Wendy Davis, who will perform an abortion live on stage, because that is the only way you'll can please these goddamn politically correct liberals.