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We're all going to not die!

Obamacare, man. Isn’t it so the worst? Hardly a day goes by that Republicans, and their katrillionaire backers like the Koch brothers, aren’t telling us the American horror stories of people who had golden balls insurance until that sumbitch Obama did socialism to them with his government health care — just like Hitler! — and now they do not have insurance, and they cannot keep their doctors, and they do not have health care, and also sluts don’t have co-pays for birth control (which is basically like 9/11 and Pearl Harbor) and it’s all a distraction from Benghazi. IMPEACH!

Funny thing, that. Seems like every time one of these victims comes forward with their tale of woe, some smartass journalist out there does some gay wizard math and proves that no, actually, said victim — or should we say “victim” — is actually benefitting from Obamacare. It’s socialist magic!

Step right up, Ms. Julia Boonstra, and tell us your tale.

A Dexter cancer patient featured in a conservative group’s TV ad campaign denouncing her new health care coverage as “unaffordable” will save more than $1,000 this year.

Julie Boonstra, 49, starred last month in an emotional television ad sponsored by Americans for Prosperity that implied Democratic U.S. Rep. Gary Peters’ vote for the Affordable Care Act made her medication so “unaffordable” she could die.

Gosh. That is terrible. Basically, she’s getting death paneled by Obama. Now we has a sad. Except that if we put her story through the reality-o-meter (caution: it has a liberal bias), we find a totally weird weirdness that is weird.

Boonstra’s old plan cost $1,100 a month in premiums or $13,200 a year, she previously told The News. It didn’t include money she spent on co-pays, prescription drugs and other out-of-pocket expenses.

By contrast, the Blues’ plan premium costs $571 a month or $6,852 for the year. Since out-of-pocket costs are capped at $5,100, including deductibles, the maximum Boonstra would pay this year for all of her cancer treatment is $11,952.

So, then … wait a minute? She is actually saving money on Obamacare? But that cannot be true! Why? Because she refuses to believe it is true. No, seriously, that is the reason.

When advised of the details of her Blues’ plan, Boonstra said the idea that it would be cheaper “can’t be true.”

“I personally do not believe that,” Boonstra said.

So that’s settled. Obviously, Obamamcare is bad and making her cancer treatments unaffordable because that’s what she believes. And you just can’t argue with that. This is America, damnit, and we have a First Amendment right to hold on to our sincerely held beliefs, even if they are not based on facts. Because freedom.

Now that Ms. Boonstra’s story has been proven to be, you know, bullshit, we expect Michelle Malkin and her flying monkeys to show up at Boonstra’s door to inspect her counter tops like a Very Serious Journalist, so we can find out who she really is. (“Who she really is” is the ex-wife of the former GOP chairman of Washtenew County, appointed by Gov. Rick Snyder (R-In case you didn’t know) to the Michigan Court of Appeals. But she’s never been political until President Oblackma tried to kill her with Obamacare, so that’s totally irrelevant, wink.)

Ha, just kidding! Naturally, the right is still insisting that Boonstra’s story is The Truth and Obamacare is The Worst, and also Sen. Harry Reid should apologize to Boonstra for blasting the untrue ad as untrue.

In her interview with The News, Boonstra took issue with Reid’s assessment. She called Reid’s remarks hurtful and said, “I was completely outraged. I deserve an apology.”

That Harry, being all hurtful and outrageous by saying an untrue thing is untrue. What a bastard. Next thing you know, he’s going to go around breaking hearts by announcing the world isn’t flat. We should probably IMPEACH! him too.

Ms. Boonstra, we are very sorry you have cancer. That is a sad thing. But we are not sorry that Obamacare is making your cancer treatments more affordable, even if you can’t believe it. Because, even if you are outraged and your feelings are hurt by it and it totally undermines your whole anti-Obamacare argument, that’s actually a good thing. But don’t worry. You don’t have to apologize. Just enjoy the savings.

You can watch her ad below. Just remember, as the great Arizona Sen. Jon Kyl once said, it’s not intended to be a factual statement.

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[Detroit News]

Follow Kaili Joy Gray on Twitter. Don’t worry, Obamacare makes it affordable.

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  • Arch Chaney

    She now has a bad case of the CD, which will no doubt cause her brain to explode if she doesn’t get some mental help. Not a problem, Obamacare will cover it.

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