George Will Remains Blissfully Unaware IRS Scandal Was Never A Real Thing

George Will sucks. He has managed to garble together some wordthings in the Washington Post about Lois Lerner and the IRS scandal, and eleventy million percent of them are full of suckitude. It is like a universal ball of suck shat out a person-sized suck-turd and named it George Will, and now we are stuck with his godawful word salad of putridness.

Apparently masquerading as a mouthpiece for Congressional Assclown Extraordinaire Darrell Issa, George Will wrote:  

[Lois Lerner] knows what her IRS unit did and how it intersects with the law, and for a second time she has exercised her constitutional right to remain silent rather than risk self-incrimination. The public has a right to make reasonable inferences from her behavior.

This is exactly what Jesus H. Washington Jefferson Lincoln had in mind when He drafted the amendments. Clearly, in America, the public has the right… nay, the Constitutional obligation to presume guilt before weighing any actual evidence. Guilty until proven innocent in the "press," right?

Based on this logic, we would like to let you know that George Will loves donkey balls. Likelovesthem, loves them. He loves sucking on them, being slapped in the face with them, even fondling them in the wee hours of the night as he cries himself to sleep because he remembers that he is George Will and George Will is a terrible, awful human being.

How do we know? Well, since George Will has never testified under oath that he doesn’t love donkey balls, we, as Americans, “have the right to make reasonable inferences,” based on his behavior, and he sure does act like a rat bastard who loves him some donkey balls.

After basically calling Lois Lerner a liar and a cheat, George Will decides to use a concrete example of how Obama is an unconstitutional tyrant and bully who is out of control with power. But because George Will is bad at his job (in addition to being a horrible human being), he goes on to use the most ridiculous example about supposed IRS targeting that we have ever seen:

Is it a coincidence that in January 2011, after Catherine Engelbrecht requested tax-exempt status for two conservative groups she founded in Texas -- King Street Patriots and True the Vote -- the Engelbrecht family business was notified of its first IRS audit?

Engelbrecht? Hey, wait a minute… that name seems eerily familiar. If you are a regular viewer of this mommyblog, you may have read about her a few weeks back:  

Catherine Engelbrecht, president of True the Vote, complained that [Rep. Elijah] Cummings (D-MD), ranking member of the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee “sent letters to True the Vote, demanding much of the same information the IRS had requested” after she filed for nonprofit status and then “would appear on cable news and publicly defame me and my organization.”

In fact, this lady was SOOOOO batshit that she filed an official complaint against Cummings, a complaint that went so far that EVEN REPUBLICANS were encouraging her to drop the complaint. That’s right -- rather than cutting off his mic, Republicans were actually defending him against Engelbrecht. Yet this is the person that George Will decided to highlight (again, please remember that he is bad at his job). What was it we said of her at the time? Oh yeah, this:

This person sounds 100% not-crazy. Perfectly sane. In fact, we bet that OSHA and the ATF planted evidence in her businesses, too, right? Or maybe that was Elvis, who we all know is an extraterrestrial liberal patsy from the planed Xanadon sent back here for the express purpose of harassing Engelbrecht.

Seriously, the biggest example of the Obama Administration and the IRS abusing their power is a crazy rightwing lunatic (based on the George Will standard of “reasonable inferences from her behavior,” of course).

Despite having no actual evidence of wrongdoing or of Lois Lerner/the IRS breaking any laws, George Will is sure that something nefarious happened. It doesn’t matter that the person who first started targeting BOTH CONSERVATIVE AND LIBERAL GROUPS is a Republican. It doesn’t matter that no evidence of any law-breaking has surfaced. It doesn’t matter that some people have already lost their jobs over this fake scandal. No, what really matters is:

There almost certainly are people, above her [Lois Lerner] and beyond the IRS, who initiated or approved the IRS’s punitive targeting of conservative groups…

The true test of whether or not to defame a person in a nationally-syndicated column is the ‘almost certainty’ of a gut feeling that something surely must have happened, probably. If this isn’t the height of journalistic integrity, then we don’t want to be called journalists.

[ Washington Post ]

 Follow DDM on Twitter ( @Wonksplainer ), where he will never post photos of donkey balls no matter how often George Will begs.