Dennis Rodman Made Dookies All Over North Korea

We can't tell you how glad we are that this next story is not about guns. Instead, it is about sportsball man and international non-diplomat Dennis Rodman and poop. You may or may not have heard that Mr. Rodman checked into rehab after returning from his most recent weird trip to North Korea. But according to the Korea Times, it can now be told that he was carrying on like some kind of U.S. missile general or something, at least if a report from private anticommunist broadcaster "Free North Korea Radio" is to believed; the unnamed sources say that Rodman

was practically forced out of the hermit kingdom for his full-blown drunk and disorderly behavior.

“Rodman was drunk the whole week of his stay. And the night before he left for the U.S., he was drunk unconscious, and vomited everywhere he turned. He even urinated and emptied the bowels in the hallway,” said the source.

We do not see what the big deal is; the man is an American Celebrity, is he not? Allowances must therefore be made.

Not only did Rodman leave Kim Jong Un and Kim Jong Deuces all over the place, he also created an international incident. We like the subtle ideological dig in the Korea Times story -- see if you can spot it! We bet you can!

Workers and managers of the Koryo Hotel who witnessed the scene and had to clean the mess were reportedly at a loss for words at such barbaric and uncivilized behavior.

North Korean authorities were told of the incident and tried to contain the story from spreading like a wild fire.

The obvious reason being shame: that taints the reputation of their Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un’s ability and discretion to screen people.

It's good to see reputable newspapers sound like blogs, isn't it?

The story also revealed that

“The stench was just horrible and people are criticizing not only Rodman, but also Kim Jong-un saying that ‘No one in a right mind would be a friend with Rodman. An animal that he is,’” the source said.

Rodman was reportedly told he would not be welcome in North Korea again unless he completes rehab, which also raises the question of just how coherent he was at any time when he thought the Democratic People's Republic of Korea was a happening place to visit. For all we know, he thought he was inside a video game.

[ Korea Times ]

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