Sandra Fluke Pulls Out

Well, that might have been the fastest congressional candidacy in the West. A day (? yeah, probably a day) after filing for the Democratic Party's endorsement to succeed Henry Waxman in his West LA seat, Sandra Fluke is all like nah mang, gonna run for state Senate instead because I just remembered that I am 32 years old and Wendy Greuel, former Los Angeles Controller and almost-mayor, already has a machine and donors and supporters and a vagina. But she is also all like nah mang it is not because Wendy Greuel already has all of those things, it is because I can get more done for Activism in the state Senate than in Congress. And considering that we in California are currently basking in the fuck yeah that is a Dem supermajority in the Lege coupled with a grizzled old Dem governor, Sandra Fluke is probably right! What kind of shit could she get through the state Senate and to the governor's desk, "should" she win her race? Let's sexplore.

• CAbortion Cards, where every third abortion is paid for by a new taxes on churches.

• Replace bear on California state flag with a Dyke on a Bike.

• Something about kale and Happy Meals probably.

• Forcibly sterilize all Rush Limbaugh listeners.

• Mandate that schoolchildren can pick the restroom that fits their gender identity. Hahahaha gotcha, we are already doing that, because "Dem supermajority," and also "fuck yeah," just like we said.

Enjoy your idiot legislatures in Kansas, or Idaho, or wherever you live, Wonkers. We're living in THE FUTURE out here.

[ LAT ]