Did you enjoy the dulcet, honeyed tones of Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers, of Washington, responding to the State of the Union last night? You did, right? She looked pretty! Her voice was nice! She said hilarious things that made no sense and was all like “I worked at McDonald’s once. BOOTSTRAPS,” and “America was inside you all along.” Obviously you did not watch Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, of Florida, give the other official GOP response, because you couldn’t find it by that point (you also couldn’t find Mike Lee’s “Tea Party” response, or Rand Paul’s response to the National Board of Opthalmology). And anyway, you probably don’t even speak Mexican, which is what Ros-Lehtinen’s speech was in. But are we still drunk, or is it pretty fucking weird that the two women gave the same speech, with just the personal anecdotes changed? Are we getting our feminist knickers in a feminist twist over nothing, or would two men not be expected to interchangeably mouth their platitudes without even a pretense that those were their own thoughts and words? Here, Fox, please splainer:

Ros-Lehtinen spokesman Keith Fernandez said Monday that the Florida congresswoman was working on translating McMorris Rodgers’ planned speech and that the Spanish version would be essentially the same content as its English companion, with personal anecdotes or references changed.

We assume Ros-Lehtinen does not have a child with special needs (beyond your garden variety “special needs to have ALL THE THINGS because Republican”); we don’t know if she bootstrapped her way to college, unlike that whore Wendy Davis, with just a job at McDonald’s. But the thing she definitely shares with McMorris Rogers is that the two have vaginas. And if the two both have vaginas, why on earth would each need her own set of words?

Repeat after us: “Oh, Frank you’re the best, you’re the champ, you’re the master!” and “I’ll just die if I don’t get this recipe. I’ll just die if I don’t get this recipe. I’ll just die if I don’t get this recipe.”

Now you too can give the official GOP response to the State of the Union!

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