A Children's Treasury Of Super-Hot Pixxx Of First AARP Member Michelle Obama, For You To Fap To

Regardless of how you may feel about President Barack HUSSEIN O'Hitler O'bummer O'bama, at least we can all agree that his better half is indisputably awesome (shut up, Politico, she is TOO a feminist ), and even though she is, like,totallyold today, she is still super-fine. So let's celebrate her 50th birthday by getting off our fat asses and gulping some vegetables and eating some water (just kidding, we are not doing that and neither are you) and enjoying some pictures of her looking all mighty fine, as she does. (That one we are doing.) (How you choose to enjoy these pictures in the privacy of your own dark basement, with one hand on the keyboard, is your own business. We won't judge. We totally get it.)

Not only does she have the right to bare arms, we think it should be her constitutional duty because DAAAAAAMN.

And we love to watch her shake what her mama gave her.

She even looks good when she is side-eyeing Barack. Or maybe not side-eyeing him. Or maybe actually side-eyeing him after all.

And we like it when she's getting her H2O on, just to piss off Republicans . In fact, we especially like that.

We love when she gets all fancy-like, too.

And so in conclusion, happy birthday, Michelle Obama, you are beautiful and wonderful and super hawt and also a wonderful role model for all us other ladies (shut UP, Politico), and we hope Barack bought you something real nice.