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hustler you're out of line

Let’s play a fun game. It is called “What Is Wrong With Matt Drudge?” and the answer cannot be “everything” because then the game is over. Above you see his illustration this morning for the Golden Globe nominations, in which 12 Years A Slave and American Hustle both made out like armed robbers. Armed robbers who are black, obviously, as if there is even any other kind!

But what is Drudge (or his unnamed minion) even trying to say here with this amazing juxtaposition, which takes two totally disparate films, one of which stars Whitey Whiterman Christian Bale, and puts them together with punctuation denoting that the second follows as a result of the first? Let us parse it, together, for freedom.

  • “Slavery” was a “hustle” so lazy blacks could get reparations, they started it in Africa, tricked whites into expanding it, and now want reparations for the knockout game that Reverend Jeremiah Wright is directing from Benghazi with his fellow gangster, Al Sharpton, jive-talking crime boss of MSNBC.
  • Also, did you know Nelson Mandela was a communist?
  • Something something Obama bowed to Castro and Hillary Clinton sent them condoms and sex toys and heroin needles she’s been saving from her White House “holiday” tree, as a wedding gift, because Obama is a gay homosexual.

Hahaha, no, the answer is not any of those things. What Matt Drudge was trying to say was “oh my fucking god, I am sooooo racist. I am sad. Someone please help.” The end.

[Drudge, via @pbump]

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