biology is density

Phyllis Schlafly’s Niece Is Back With Brand New Message For Ladies: Quit Your Jobs, Have More Babbies

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Hi, ladies! Fox News brought its favorite “war on men” correspondent, Suzanne Venker, out of the locked room where they store her between guest appearances and let her do some concern-ranting about how women are ruining their lives by living them the way they want to, and not the way Suzanne Venker knows they should. On Sunday’s Fox & Friends, Venker got a nice warm welcome for her very important column (on FoxNews.com, natch) explaining that women really can “have it all” as long as they recognize that “it” shouldn’t include a career.

And how could any reasonable human find her premise controversial anyway? As Tucker Carlson said, “I rely completely on my wife…but if a woman says that about her husband, somehow that’s weak?” We’re really happy to hear that Tucker Carlson has decided to only work part time and have balance in his life by spending more time doing laundry and staying home with the kids, which has to be what he meant, right, gals?

Venker is very concerned that women have set themselves up for huge disappointment because they’ve bought into the prevalent attitude that “women don’t need men,” because apparently everything she knows about feminism came from that 1975 t-shirt about fish and bicycles. After all, biology matters, which means your baby-making abilities come first, silly girls.

Co-Host Anna Kooiman wanted some clarification on how this deal would work, anyway, and asked Venker to share some “words of wisdom” (which is a classic example of “assumes facts not in evidence”): “I fit into that category perfectly. I’m single, I’m 29, I’m very career oriented … What’s your advice in just a couple sentences?” Venker replied,

“My advice is, as the years go on and you find that you want, if you do, to get married and settle down, to understand time is going to be your greatest enemy,” Venker opined. “Not your husband, not men, not the government, not your employers. It’s time, there’s just not enough time in the day to do everything.”

“So if you learn to embrace that side of yourself that isn’t about work,” she continued. “In other words, the nurturing side, the motherhood, all of that. It’s okay to let your husband bring home that full-time income so you can have more of a balanced life.”

“And we should really be thanking men for this, not saying they’re in our way or not doing enough.”

Look, all it takes is a little adjustment of your flighty attitude, you — work-life balance is no big deal when you have a man taking care of you, and you should thank your lucky stars he lets you live your real dreams, which have to involve babies.

Kooiman smiled and nodded blondely as co-host Clayton Morris urged viewers to read Venker’s important groundbreaking column, adding that “there’s not one thing in here I disagreed with.”

Imagine that.

[RawStory]

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About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Holly Housenwife

    When are we going to get accurate and professional journalism?? Suzanne Venker never ONCE said “Quit Your Jobs” or “Have More Babies” so how can the article have such a misleading title? Then again they cant even spell babies right so why would I expect content accuracy when they don’t even have grammar accuracy?

    • JustPixelz

      You’re confusing grammar and spelling. Ask your husband to explain.

  • Holly Housenwife

    No she never said anyone should stay home and pop out babies.

  • Holly Housenwife

    Finally taking her own advice? The woman is like 80 years old. Perhaps you don’t know anything about parenting or genetics but she hasn’t had a child in over 50 years. She’s done raising her children. Now please grow up and read a book.

  • Holly Housenwife

    No, it’s because feminists created a world where the masculine breadwinners are isolated from their children and painted as horrible perpetrators while loser men who cant hold a job [or anyone’s respect] are praised because they say the right things publically.

  • Holly Housenwife

    She never told anyone to quit their jobs and have babies. You should buy a hearing aid.

  • Holly Housenwife

    Look up the definition of socialist, it’s intertwined with Feminism which you would know if you actually looked things up instead of just talking crap all day. Feminism IS a Marxist-socialist group started by a woman Betty Friedan who supported Marxism before starting feminism.

  • Holly Housenwife

    Good then maybe your kids wont grow up to be the cynical and ignorant brats that you clearly have grown up to be. If your wife loves your kids so much then why is she choosing to be at work instead of with her kids? If your wife actually stayed home like a good mother instead of a self-centered mother then your wife AND kids would all be happier and statistically you would be too.

  • Holly Housenwife

    How pathetic that you married such a loser and actually decided to have kids with him. I don’t know what’s worse, you deciding to make a truck driver into a father or him trying to make you into a mother when you cant clean a house or change diapers better than a truck driver. Stop having kids!

  • Holly Housenwife

    Blatant female impersonators? You have them confused with feminists who are the real female impersonators.

  • Holly Housenwife

    The same year as everyone else. Just because you are materialistic and money is at the center of your life doesn’t mean that it’s the same for all women. Clearly you know nothing about economy anyways since it costs MORE for both parents to work since now they have to pay for child care (which ruins children into their adulthood), more gas, more car expenses, more eating out expenses, etc. If you cant AFFORD a child then why are you having one? The only reason is you are a self-centered horrible parent who cares only about yourself and no one else, especially not about your kids. The economy no longer allows? Grow up and read a book. There are still single househould breadwinners who support their family and stay at home wife, they’re called REAL MEN and their world revolves on character not materialism.

  • Holly Housenwife

    No one does need a smart phone, at all, whatsoever. If you can only get a brand new car or a 20 year old car then clearly your parents were so horrible at their jobs that they taught you nothing about sustaining life. Salvation Army Stores or Fred Siegel? It must suck to live your life since you clearly only operate in extremes. Go see a therapist.

  • Holly Housenwife

    Set the example of what? The OPPOSITE of what she is telling people to do? Why don’t you go get a hearing aid and read a book.

  • Holly Housenwife

    Actually tons of women ask for this advice because tons of women are single, bitter and lonely with no idea why and they want to know where it went wrong. Think before you speak.

  • Holly Housenwife

    Grow up and read a book. His being gay has absolutely nothing to do with her attitude. Did you skip school entirely or do you just choose to be ignorant? You want her to be feminine and quiet or you want her to be masculine and support feminism, sorry but you don’t get to have your cake and eat it too.

  • Holly Housenwife

    No where even near close. Don’t talk about things you clearly don’t understand.

  • Holly Housenwife

    Says the nobody that no one cares about and has never heard of. She’s on the TV and you’re on a comment board. Grow up.

  • Holly Housenwife

    This has nothing to do with 1950s. Did you skip history class?

  • Holly Housenwife

    This has nothing to do with 1850s, other than there were tons of female pioneers in the late 1800’s who were educated and had important jobs.

  • Holly Housenwife

    You do realize that women have had jobs since Ancient Civilizations right?

  • Holly Housenwife

    That has nothing to do with anything Venker said whatsoever. Look up the word “Relevant”.

  • Holly Housenwife

    Yeah, that’s the smart move for the woman who will never find a quality man and has to marry a closeted gay or doormat male whose genes would never have survived to this day without feminism. Yes, it is smart for the ugly and “strong” (code word for bitchy) woman to find a loser who she will never love or respect since that is the only kind of man who will do better at the house than her and worse at a job than her.
    If you are a real woman however, and you are attractive physically and mentally then a great guy would WANT to take care of you and allow you more luxuries. But by all means, choose the loser instead. There are plenty of other women who aren’t going to let the good men go. That’s why the top men go off the market first.

  • Holly Housenwife

    WOW you must be the only adult who needs to hire a tutor to understand basic English.

  • Holly Housenwife

    There’s a thing called a “book shelf” and it holds books, amazing right? That’s what people who read put their books into.

  • Holly Housenwife

    This isn’t insulting to men at all, real men want this to be said more. Men pick a female sex partner “because she’s desirable (like chocolate)” but they pick a WIFE because she is good for him and their future children. Do you actually only pick men who look good to you but don’t treat you good? That’s sad.
    Women should be ashamed because they are the ones making themselves undesirable by loading up on (chocolate) so they don’t even stand a chance with the good men.

  • Holly Housenwife

    Everyone knows you wish you could, that’s why you have to emotionally complain publically like a child.

  • Holly Housenwife

    Time is your enemy if you are trying to go as far into your career as possible AND have and raise a child at the same time, yes.

  • Holly Housenwife

    Yes when men were still men and not feminist slaves who put feminist goals before everything else because it’s their only assurance at getting laid.

  • Holly Housenwife

    Most people, male and female, all have their hair and make up checked before going on TV since that’s what the TV industry wants. Clearly you have never baked or had anyone who loved you enough to bake for you since you’d know that it’s impossible for her to bake cookies while waiting.