Conservatives Turn Out In Support Of Poor Beleaguered Rapacious Fast Food Corporations

Over at Michelle Malkin’s Twitter Dump for Adderall Deficient Jackanapes, the wingnuts are having a giant happy because fast food workers across the nation are striking for a living wage, which gives the knuckle-dragging cholesterol bombs of the right an excuse (as if they needed one) to patronize every McDonalds and Hardees from sea to shining sea for every meal they eat today. Because the hell with Big Labor thugs or fast food employees not having to sell their bodily organs to pay the bills!

Workers are demanding a minimum wage of $15, which doesn’t sound so unreasonable to us, but we’re giant Marxists who think people should not have to work two jobs just to afford the rent on a single room in one of those long-term occupancy hotels where the front-desk clerk sits behind bulletproof glass. Obviously this might impinge on your average Mickey D’s ability to run its Dollar Menu promotion on the regular, so you wingnuts will just have to pay a little more for the privilege of gobbling those artery-clogging Big Macs when you take your spouses out for Date Night. Cry us a fucking river.

What do the wingnuts think about that? Well, here is derp geyser Tony Katz, who wants us to know that his de facto “no living wage” position is actually in support of the fast food employees:

Oh Tony, you should really read yr Wonkette occasionally if you think today’s state of affairs is in any way supportive of workers. 

This one’s a kick:

We hope your children aren’t too used to having you be a part of their childhood, Mr. Tim Brooks!

But this roundup would not be complete without an appearance by jabbering sociopath Dana Loesch:

Wow, Missouri cops make less that $15 an hour? Seriously, that's terrible. Do they not have a union that can agitate for higher pay?

Well for one thing, the minimum wage thirty years ago when you were a young’un went a lot farther than it does today, as President Bamz pointed out yesterday. For another, your mom was being exploited by assholes if she had to work three jobs to support you and any siblings you may have. The point of a living wage is so that a single mom can work one job and support her kids and also have time to spend with them doing mom stuff so maybe they don’t grow up to become shrieking rage harpies. Just one of those crazy goals for working moms us socialists have from time to time.

Not enough respect for them to ensure they can make more than $7.25 an hour (about $15,000 a year) to support their families, obviously. Dana Loesch respects you, workers, but not if it means she’ll have to pay a little more for a Double Down.

Of course Dana is right in line with some of our elected representatives on the right, like Rep. Joe Barton (R-Texas, Of Course), who told the   Huffington Post that the minimum wage has “outlived its usefulness” and should be repealed. Luckily Barton is a member of the laziest Congress in the history of ever, so it is highly unlikely that repeal – or a raise of the minimum wage that Senate Democrats are pushing – will ever happen.

Anyway, good luck with all the heart disease and colon cancer, conservatives! May we suggest before you eat you sign up for some health insurance to defray the cost of your future life-saving treatments?

[ Twitchy / HuffPo ]