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Tough Guy Mitch McConnell Gonna Punch All Those Tea Party Bullies POW Right In The Nose

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Matthew Boyle, left

You know who is a tough guy? Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell is a tough guy, and you know this is true, because in a conference call with Karl Rove and other RINOs, he said why, why, he’s agonna stand up to all them teabullies like Ted Cruz and Mike Lee and punch em POW! RIGHT IN THE KISSER!

Someone who was on that conference call hates Mitch McConnell and loves Ted Cruz, obviously, or they would not be transmitting seeeekrit information to noted Tea Party toady Matthew Boyle, of Ghost Andrew Breitbart’s Internet Home for A Christmas Story Bully Sidekick Impersonators.

“McConnell said the Tea Party was ‘nothing but a bunch of bullies,’” the source said. “And he said ‘you know how you deal with schoolyard bullies? You punch them in the nose and that’s what we’re going to do.’”

Rove, as well as American Crossroads President and CEO Steven J. Law who also serves as the president of sister group Crossroads GPS, were also on the call. Rove “talked in a slightly gentler way, or let’s say, a more diplomatic way,” the source said. “But the message was pretty well the same: That if we’re going to save this thing, we have to back real Republicans.”

Uh oh, Senator McConnell! The nihilists genteel, cooperative, community barnraising, we’re all in this together, there’s no I in team folk of the Tea Party, notably Miss Congeniality Ted Cruz, might have a thing or two to say about that! And that thing might be “you wanna go mano a mano old man?”

Stop. Just stop. We hate it when drunk daddy and even drunker daddy fight.


About the author

Rebecca is the editor and publisher of Wonkette. She is the author of Commie Girl in the O.C., a collection of her OC Weekly columns, and the former editor of LA CityBeat. Go visit her Commie Girl Collective, and follow her on the Twitter!

View all articles by Rebecca Schoenkopf


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