The Orlando Sentinel has confirmed that George Zimmerman, the white-Hispanic knight who saved Florida from hordes of ravaging teenage boys going to the market, has been arrested. Details of the arrest were not available, but here is some serious What the Fuck:
It’s not clear what happened or what crime he’s accused of committing, but just before 1:30 p.m., [sheriff Don] Eslinger confirmed that Zimmerman had been arrested today and was being driven to the county jail in Sanford.
He said more information would be available shortly.
WESH-Channel 2 reported that Zimmerman was accused of domestic violence by a girlfriend.
George Zimmerman has a girlfriend.
Let us repeat that: George Zimmerman has a girlfriend.
Let us repeat that one more time: apparently there is a woman who is dating, possibly even putting her vagina on, George Zimmerman.
On his penis and or his face.
Time to all go kill ourselves, hooray.