Finally, here’s a story about an idiot with a gun that we can laugh at without feeling like terrible people! Last Tuesday evening, Some Unknown Guy went to the Winkler Street GNC in Wilkesboro, North Carolina, like we all do when we need to buy some foul-tasting dehydrated fat to make us fatter, or just to shoot the breeze with the people who work at GNC, who are our dear friends.
That Tuesday, the conversation turned as usual to our American Second Amendment Right To Wave Around Guns Like A Moron, and you’ll never guess what happened next.
Dude shot the store’s printer!
A witness told police he was speaking to a customer and they were discussing second amendment rights and guns around 6:50 p.m. The customer then pulled out his handgun and accidentally fired a shot, striking a printer, the witness said.
The too-brief local Fox affiliate’s story doesn’t say whether the printer was coming right for him, but we all know you can’t trust those damn things once they taste blood.
The customer then reportedly told the worker “he could not go down for this.”
The sad thing is he actually could go down for this, because even though no one was injured, it’s still a “crime” to fire your gun inside a store for no reason, even if it was an accident. THANKS OBAMA!
However, let’s not jump to conclusions. While the story does note that the shooter was “discussing second amendment rights” it does not say he was doing so favorably. It’s totally possible he was like “It is absolutely goddamn ridiculous that I, a true idiot, who would take out his gun inside a store and wave it around LIKE SO, am allowed to own firearms!”