Townhall Reporter Katie Pavlich Still Unclear On Concept Of 'Slavery'

 
 Monday certainly was a banner day for Townhall columnists. First you had stupidity vector Kurt Schlichter cementing his status atop our pantheon of Blowhards We Hope Never Corner Us at a Cocktail Party or Any Other Event That Requires Consciousness (and it’s an extensive pantheon). Barely had we caught our breath from that smarmgasm when we spotted one of our favorites, derp-based life form Katie Pavlich, gamely trying to stand up for Sarah Palin’s dumb word salad about debt being like slavery and then, when people who understand what “words” in “English” actually “mean” pointed out to Katie why this was a poor comparison, kept digging the hole deeper. You know what they say: sometimes you have to hit your head on the rocks before you realize you’ve reached bottom.

Oh Katie, it’s really not. Don’t you read yr Wonkette? Slavery in America was the subjugation of an entire race of people through violent means, the tearing apart of families when an owner decided on a whim to sell a husband away from his wife and children or vice versa, and so on. We’re pretty sure that no matter how much of our country’s debt the Chinese own, they will never put you in chains and ship you off to labor day and night in a Guangdong fortune cookie mine (or even a Foxconn factory). There is a reason the DVD we are giving Richard Cohen for Hanukkah is not calledRoots: The Saga of an American Family’s Tax Burden.

Also, we’re pretty sure if you don’t like debt you can vote against the politicians who keep piling it on, or participate in protest marches when they are invading Middle Eastern countries for no reason and telling their budget director, “Just put it on the national AmEx, I get points.” Kind of like we were doing a decade ago while you were shopping for a prom dress. Slaves who don’t like being slaves -- which is presumably all of them -- don’t have that option. So chill out.

Hello, University of Arizona? Do you require your undergraduates to attend even one history class before you hand them a degree? We’re asking for a friend.

You’re not too white, Katie, just too stupid.

What does that even mean? We figure this is about the point where Katie’s soft skull had cracked like an egg and her brains had dripped out to congeal in an amniotic puddle of yolk on the kitchen counter. As one of our favorite writers was often heard to say, “No great loss.”

[ Katie Pavlich's Historically Illiterate Twitter Feed ]