my little phony: patriarchy is magic

Anti-Gay Anti-Girl Crackpot ‘Quiverfull’ Leader Resigns Following Affair, And Also It’s Tuesday

Too much sinnin'Happy Blowvember, everyone! Yet another rightwing “pro family” leader has  resigned after an extramarital affair; this time around, it’s Douglas Phillips, former president of “Vision Forum Ministries.” In a seriously icky resignation statement, Phillips writes

There has been serious sin in my life for which God has graciously brought me to repentance. I have confessed my sin to my wife and family, my local church, and the board of Vision Forum Ministries. I engaged in a lengthy, inappropriate relationship with a woman. While we did not “know” each other in a Biblical sense, it was nevertheless inappropriately romantic and affectionate.

“Inappropriately romantic and affectionate,” eh? We’re guessing “road head.” Because it’s Blowvember after all. Then again, is it inappropriately romantic to do it in the butt?

You say you’ve never heard of this squirrel? Neither had we! But according to Right Wing Watch, he is a big cheese in the super-patriarchal “quiverfull” have-lots-of-babies-for-Jesus movement; he also was very big in the Christian homeschooling movement as an attorney for the Home School Legal Defense Association, and, through Vision Forum, launched the Beautiful Girlhood Collection of dolls, which are pretty much dolls, but also come with this inspirational sales pitch (from a press release, ca. 2005):

“America’s leading doll providers have declared war on biblical femininity. Whether it’s Barbie’s sassy ‘B who U wanna B’ campaign, Bratz’ call for girls to ‘strut [their] stuff,’ or American Girl’s recent support of Girls, Inc. — an organization that openly promotes abortion and lesbianism to young girls — the elite doll lines have sullied the innocence of our daughters by glorifying perversity,” Phillips observed.

“Yet even as others frown on biblical femininity, minimize motherhood, and belittle the beauty of being a true woman of God, we dare to chart a different path through our doll line,” continued Phillips. “We dare to believe that the biblical vision for girlhood is a glorious vision. It is a vision so bright and so wonderful that it must be boldly proclaimed.”

That seems like a pretty heavy load for a plastic doll to carry, even if she has an awesome name like Liberty (“Freedom in Christ”); Evangeline (“Proclaimer of Good News”), Abigail (“A Father’s Joy”), or Fidelia (“Faithful One”).

Just one last indication of how very rightwing this Doug Phillips guy is: He once complained that Sarah Palin was too “pro-evolution, pro-contraceptive,” (???????) and “pro-homosexual” for true conservatives to support, plus, as a woman, she had no business running for office anyway, because the Bible says women are supposed to stay home and take care of their babbies.

Oh, and he also warned that Barack Obama’s support for same-sex marriage would piss off God so much that we’d all be punished, probably by terrorist attacks, but really, that sort of thing is just the price of admission to Club Wingnut these days.

We’re not sure how such a great supporter of virtue could be undone by a whole bunch of inappropriate romance and affection (possibly involving the mouth and/or butt, but we are just speculating), but it almost certainly would never happened if American women weren’t such sluts who insist on being out in public, competing with men, instead of at home where they belong.

[RightWingWatch via FreakOutNation / Homeschoolers Anonymous]

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About the author

Doktor Zoom Is the pseudonym of Marty Kelley, who lives in Boise, Idaho. He acquired his nym from a fan of Silver-Age comics after being differently punctual to too many meetings. He is not a medical doctor, although he has a real PhD (in Rhetoric and Composition).

View all articles by Doktor Zoom

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