harry reid, international spyHarry Reid is telling tales again, and we could not love him more. He’s been fingered (gross) as the gossip girl behind the rumor that Rep. Pete Sessions told Barack Obama, to his face, in the White House, “I cannot even stand to look at you.” Wait a minute, a TEXAN being rude to a BLACK MAN? Unpossible. Is it true? Untrue? There is simply no way to ever know despite the fact that everyone who was actually there is denying it faster than Peter denied Christ. Even the White House is all, “nah mang nah mang no way and stuff.” But they WOULD say that. Because in order not to look like a giant pussy when getting told off in your own Executive Mansion, you would then have to slap Pete Sessions in the face and challenge him to a duel. And really, Professor B. Friedrich Bamzenhauer is not going to murder you unless he puts you into a coma with his droning, lecturing, professory words. But why do we believe Harry Reid? Besides because “we want to”? Let’s sexplore!

Remember back in the campaign when Harry Reid was all like “oh bee-tee-dubs, Mitt Romney is a grifter who didn’t pay a dime in taxes for like 20 years, I totally got a source, yo” and everyone was all like YOU ARE A LIAR HARRY REID until the day the RNC accidentally confirmed he’d been right all along? Good times.

So Harry Reid says he was told about Sessions’ Southern Gentleman act by a White House aide who was at the meeting with the GOP leadership and Professor Snoozealot. And then Harry Reid got on a threeway call with his whole Democratic caucus about it. And then they told two friends, and they told two friends, and Dick Durbin put it on his myfaceplace and the rest is history. The history of Harry Reid being an awesome gossip with sexcellent sources, the end.


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