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Hey, ladies, have you ever wondered what gets Mormon boys really super hot? I know I haven’t, and you probably haven’t, and neither have you over there rolling your eyes, but this Backstreet Boys-esque band of preppy white boys (plus one older black man because Mormons are totes into that diversity thing now) ripped off One Direction’s song “That’s What Makes You Beautiful” to boybandsplain it to us anyway. Hey, where are you going? Come back!

See, they do NOT like our short skirts. Oh no. And they do NOT like our low-cut shirts. Oh oh oh. And they definitely don’t like that one thing some of us can do with our ankles behind our heads. (Okay, that’s not in the song, I’m just guessing here.)

No, these boys respect us SOOOOOOOOO much that they would like us to sit down and shut up and listen to what they are singing at us — because nothing says “I respect you, woman” like telling women they “must” believe what they’re being told — that you need to stop dressing all whore-y. See, “Girls with integrity are hard to find these days.”

[Malware at Happy; Link blocked for now]

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