Shep Smith Steps On His Own Deck
In what has to be the Greatest Development in Teevee News since holographic Jessica Yellin asked Wolf Blitzer "What is thy bidding?" on election night 2008, here is Shepard Smith giving a tour of Fox's brand-new "News Deck," a wowie-zowie news set just dripping with ludicrously gigantoid "55-inch touchscreen displays" where Fox's "information specialists" will sift through all sorts of breaking social-media thingies to find the real truth about what other reporters are tweeting about the latest YouTube video of a screencap from Fox News, ensuring that You The Viewer will spend most of the newscast trying to see if anybody in the background is watching porn.
Also, Shep Smith himself will control the action with a 38-foot interactive wall screen and a remote control -- "We call it a remote. It has a technical name, but it's boring" -- that you just know he's going to just set down somewhere on the way to the restroom and not remember where he put it.
The NewsDeck (it needs to be one word, don't you think?) is the centerpiece of Smith's new Fox News program "Shepard Smith Reporting" (3 PM Eastern daily), which we personally watched today, so you don't have to. It looked a lot like a news program, plus Shep Smith walking up to one of the GigantoPads to share some severe weather news while muttering, "Shift-shift F10, shift-shift-F11."
Oh how wonderful it would be if someone hacked in and managed to put an animated dick GIF on every screen at once.
Needz moar well-toned hammer-throwing blonde.